Carpe Diem Summer Love 2019 Day 1 + Poetry Pantry #485: The Worst Lie

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I never lied to you, my dear. I loved you from afar for years but knew you couldn’t be mine. When you could, I broke my vow to run from love and gave you all of mine.

Temporary thing

Washed away when tides come in

Love is the worst lie

Love,

Cie

Note:

For those who are stickler-ish about things Haibun-ish, be it noted that this Extreme Haibun is a non-traditional Haibun. Like the person who wrote it, it does not care terribly much about adhering to strict rules.

For those who in the past have stated that they will demand to know if my Haibuns are fiction or non-fiction, this is your notification that this Haibun is 100% factual. However, know also that I will not elaborate further on the words I have set down in said Haibun, and I ask you to respect that.

D'Verse Poets Open Link Night #246 + Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #91 Renga With (hineri) Sonora Desert

Beach Mouse

1. 

among dune grass

silver bleached logs

and a perfect day

among dune grass

if you blink, you will miss it

mouse peers from its home

silver bleached logs

blasted by sand, wind, and rain

beauty in harshness

and a perfect day

if perfection does exist

found in solitude

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

2. 

overcoming rocks

a stream of cacti

slowly spreading

overcoming rocks
taking root in barren soil
resilient plants

a stream of cacti

clandestine water vessels

ride the desert wave

slowly spreading
seeds take root across the dunes
carried on the wind

Teddy Bear Cholla

3. 

desert ways

branching all over

cholla cactus

desert ways
arid, harsh, unforgiving
to some, blessed home

branching up to the sky
reaching up to greet the sun
rooted deep in earth

cholla cactus
spines sparkling like gems in sun
don't try to pick me

Image by Mike Goad from Pixabay

4. 
alone and asking
to be touched
teddy bear cholla

alone and asking
thirsty for the rain to fall
the sun still beats down

to be touched
is a desire that ceases
when touch is cruel

teddy bear cholla
with spines that appear silky
not truly cuddly

Image by katja from Pixabay

5. 
writing
desert poems
pencil cholla

writing
salvation or damnation
release, obsession

desert poems
love the look of the desert
but can't stand the heat

pencil cholla
plucking a spine for a nib
words scrawled with my blood

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

6. 
desert sunset
cholla cactus sticks
to the light

desert sunset
with night comes blessed coolness
nighttime desert song

cholla cactus sticks
daring passerby to touch
its tempting needles

to the light
shining from the moon above
nighttime creatures sing

~Jane & Cie~

Notes:

The "sleighs" of the Troiku in this Troiku Hineri were written by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The spiky Horses of the Apocalypse were wrangled by me.
I've been doing Troiku all month. These were supposed to be Renga. Yes, I know, I am bad at following instructions and I suck at my job. In other news, water is wet.

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 20: The Snow of Yesterday

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the snow of yesterday

that fell like cherry blossoms

is water once again

the snow of yesterday

embraced me in cold cocoon

you were beside me

that fell like cherry blossoms

the snowflakes like frozen gems

my heart was open

is water once again

memories flow from my eyes

as I think of you

~Gozan & Cie~

with the moon

night too disappears

into the ocean

with the moon

memories return to me

I try to catch them

night too disappears

burned away by light and heat

everything in flames

into the ocean

I sometimes wish I could stroll

and be washed away

~Jane & Cie~

Notes:

The Jisei is a Haiku written by a poet shortly before their passing from the world. The "sleigh" of the first Troiku is the Jisei of the poet Gozan, written shortly prior to his death in 1781 at the age of 71. The "sleigh" of the second Troiku was written by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016) shortly prior to her passing.

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 19: Disappearing Pollinators

Copyright Charlie Neibergall

our world is poison

butterflies and bees vanish

a catastrophe

our world is poison

toxins in the air and soil

leech into water

butterflies and bees vanish

without our pollinators

we are truly lost

a catastrophe

the plants that we rely on

need pollinators

~Cie~

Note:

I am fully responsible for the Sleigh of Destruction and any Horses of the Apocalypse that may be pulling it.

Disclosure:

I earn a small commission from any products purchased from this grid. Proceeds go towards the renovation of the Grover Hotel. To find out more, please visit the Good Stuff From Grover blog.

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 18: Ancient Cypress

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ancient cypress

leaning over the light

at sunrise

ancient cypress

tell me how the world once was

when you were just small

leaning over the light

I think of the great legends

of gods and heroes

at sunrise

standing so strong and so tall

living monument

Jane & Cie

Notes:

The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The three heroic horses of legend were wrangled by me.

Don't Move, This is a Haibun! The Magic of the Prairie

Pawnee National Grasslands, Northeastern Colorado

Most folks will tell you that the prairie is boring, depressing, and certainly not a magical place.

The truth is, although the prairie may appear drab in comparison to more immediately impressive environs such as tall mountains, clear lakes, or beautiful beaches, it is a fascinating and adaptive setting which holds many wonderful stories and secrets.

Prairie grass is strong and resilient. It prevents erosion of the topsoil and can withstand long periods of dryness. It provides food and a home for many species of marvelous creatures.

beneath the surface

this drab land in its plain dress

full of surprises

~Cie~

Also sharing with the Spread the Kindness linkup.

Useful resources to learn about the North American grasslands.

http://shelledy.mesa.k12.co.us/staff/computerlab/ColoradoLifeZones_Plains_Plants.html

https://wrangle.org/ecotype/north-american-short-grass-prairie

Disclosure: 

If you purchase one of the books featured in this search, I will receive a small commission. Any commissions earned will be used to fund the restoration of the historic Grover Hotel, which is now proudly owned by my son. Grover is a very small town on the northeastern plains of Colorado.

To follow along with the project and for more about the various ventures of the Ornery Old Lady (me) and the wild cast of characters at the Grover Hotel and Ghostly General Store, please visit the Good Stuff From Grover blog.

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 17: Breathing Silence

Image by Radoan Tanvir from Pixabay

alone on the beach

only the cries of seagulls -

breathing silence

alone on the beach

wondering what lies ahead

another sunrise

only the cries of seagulls

if I could understand them

what would they tell me?

breathing silence

trying to calm this feeling

that all is not well

~Chèvrefeuille & Cie~

Notes:

The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Chèvrefeuille. The Three Horses of the Apocalypse are my responsibility.

This poem is part of my Seacliffe Series, in reference to my WIP, The Legend of Seacliffe House. These poems focus on the thoughts of my protagonist, Randal Messana, as he finds himself in a strange new situation after rescuing his mother from the brutal Diamantina Lamb and fleeing the cursed Lambswood Manor. The story is primarily a homage to Edgar Allan Poe and it may or may not ever be published. Either way, I hope some of you enjoy the poetry inspired by the tale!

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 16: Heat Waves

Heat Waves

heat waves

bringing to the desert

an ocean view

heat waves

like the sun fell down to earth

scorching the dry soil

bringing to the desert

heat too difficult to bear

if caught unaware

an ocean view

is very far from this place

with the burning ground

~Jane & Cie~

Notes:

The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The Three Horses of Hell were summoned by me.

Lafayette: My Guide and Friend

You were

My guide and friend

The day I brought you home

You hid until the nighttime came

You learned to feel safe at home with me

I loved you with all of my heart

I felt my heart shatter

When you left me

You were

I will love you forever, Buddy

There are some things you never get over

No matter how many times people insist that you "should"

Haikai Challenge #91: Midsummer Rain

Copyright Xenia Tran

On the return drive

From a life-changing journey

Drops became torrent

~Cie~

Prompt Used:

Haikai Poetry Matters
Haiku My Heart

Notes:

Today the final decision was made and my son and his dad agreed to close on the historic Grover Hotel. To follow along with our story in renovating and living in this building in a Northeast Colorado ghost town, visit my Good Stuff From Grover blog. (Also features samplings of my poetry and other good stuff.)

Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #90: Crossroads: Summer Solstice Troiku Hineri

Image by yibg from Pixabay

This Short Night

this short night -

from a shallow well I scoop

a persimmon flower

Insomnia

this short night

like many others, sleepless

I dread the morning

this short night
my mind is filled with worry
rest cannot be found

like many others, sleepless
I try to find some comfort
in the quiet dark

I dread the morning
unwanted expectations
putting on my mask

From the Well

from a shallow well I scoop

water kept cool underground

safe from sun's harsh blaze

from a shallow well I scoop
another cup of water
binding me to earth

water kept cool underground
safe from the sun relentless
shaded from the heat

safe from the sun's harsh blaze
wish I was one with water
wish that I could hide

Persimmon Flower

a persimmon flower

holds the promise of autumn

solace from the heat

a persimmon flower
yellow petals and green leaves
floats on the surface

holds the promise of autumn
but what does autumn promise
but solace from heat

solace from the heat
the best that I can hope for
in this weary life

Yosa Buson & Cie

Image by Couleur from Pixabay

The Peach

solstice splits

between the peach halves

a red stone sun

Solstice Splits

solstice splits

lovely flowers everywhere

unrelenting sun

solstice splits

beautiful harvest promised

nothing guaranteed

lovely flowers everywhere

I wish I could be happy

but nothing changes

unrelenting sun

beats down on another year

desiccating hope

Between the Peach Halves

between the peach halves

the promise of a future

more peaches next year

between the peach halves

the promise of a new tree

providing its shade

the promise of a future

but there are no guarantees

some win and some lose

more peaches next year

a momentary sweetness

in life hard and dry

Red Stone Sun

a red stone sun

holding the promise of life

within its hard shell

a red stone sun

color without warmth or light

shining nonetheless

holding the promise of life

promises not always kept

dreams don't always thrive

within its hard shell

sits the seed of tomorrow

yet unrealized

Jane & Cie

Notes:

Why do one or the other when you can do both?

Why kill when you can overkill?

The "sleigh" for the first Troiku Hineri was created by Yosa Buson (1716-1784).

The "sleigh" for the second Troiku Hineri was created by Jane Reichhold (1937 -2016).

All Horses of the Apocalypse are my own undoing.

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 15: Nightingale

Nightingale, giving no f**ks

to listen,

fine not to listen, fine too...

nightingale

to listen

is there anything to hear

even in silence

fine not to listen, fine too...

sometimes withdrawal is best

turning inside now

nightingale

sings not for an audience

only for herself

~Cie & Chiyo-Ni~

Notes:

The sleigh of this sedate Troiku was created by Chiyo-Ni (1703 - 1775). The three surprisingly sedate Horses of the Apocalypse were led here by me.

Chiyo-Ni and the nightingale who is the subject of her poem remind me of a lesson which has been difficult for me to internalize.

Seeking approval from others is always unwise.

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 14: Pink Sakura Blush

Cherry Blossoms

pink sakura blush  

spring’s kimono falls to earth

silk snatched by a breeze

pink sakura blush

singing song of sakura

many years ago

spring's kimono falls to earth

the young men choose their partners

nobody chose me

silk snatched by a breeze

like a dream that won't come true

drift into the past

Kim & Cie

Notes:

The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Kim R. Russell. The Three Dejected Horses of the Apocalypse are my responsibility.

Many of these prompts lately are reminding me of the year when I was in the fourth grade and I learned about Japan. I was a very shy and unpopular child with a terrible overbite, always chosen last for sports teams, and none of the boys wanted to dance with me at the school socials.

Heeding Haiku with Chèvrefeuille: Summer Solstice

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At the beginning of the day on the summer solstice, I leave my body sleeping and walk in dreams to a place I will never see in life. I watch the sunrise through rocks mysteriously stacked long ago and wonder if it was possible that I was there in some form.

Do I have a connection to a time and place I could not possibly have known in my current reality, or do I merely wish that I was more important than I am? Did I once have wisdom and abilities forgotten by the passage of centuries and lifetimes, or am I merely a pathetic creature who wishes there was a possibility that I might not be as utterly hopeless and wretched as I appear?

There was a time when I believed in one God and a single savior. Then came the time that I believed in many deities and no specific savior. At this point, I neither believe nor disbelieve in any specific thing, except that I think the god postulated by most organized religious institutions is a construct created to give adherents carte blanche to behave cruelly.

is there someone there

a powerful entity

or are we alone?

~Cie~

Note:

It is not my intent to belittle anyone's faith. The thoughts I express are mine and mine alone. I neither believe nor disbelieve in any particular deity or set of deities, including the Christian god. My final paragraph is a criticism of the sorts of people who use their religion to behave as intolerant bigots and to cause harm to those who do not adhere to their dogma and edicts.

An Open Letter to the Participants in the June WEP Story Competition

Image copyright Pexels on Pixabay

I want to thank everyone for their recent comments and I will try and make sure that I visit all of the blogs on the list. I have had an extremely bad month. I don't take criticism well in any case. I am one of those people who never reads reviews of my work because I can get nine positive reviews and one bad one, and the bad one is the one that sticks with me. I then become intolerable to live with. It's better for my family that I don't read my reviews.

Nobody who has responded to this piece has been unnecessarily cruel or even harsh. I just feel like maybe for this particular competition, vampires are a subject which is really polarizing. I was kind of surprised because I tend to write about the paranormal, and the last piece I wrote featured a ghost/angel and it didn't raise anyone's hackles nearly as much as this one.

I know I'm not a great writer. I'm not even setting out with the intent to be a great writer. I like to write cheesy, over-the-top stories about the supernatural. My biggest influences are authors such as Ambrose Bierce, Edgar Allan Poe, H.P. Lovecraft, and Stephen King. I was also strongly influenced by the original Twilight Zone series.

I don't always respond this badly to "constructive criticism." I do have rapid cycling type 2 bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder, so I tend to be more sensitive than the average bear. 

Marsha Linehan, an American psychologist and author, uses a great analogy to describe what Borderline Personality Disorder.

”People with BPD are like people with third-degree burns over 90 percent of their body. Lacking emotional skin, they feel agony at the slightest touch or movement”.

There is an excellent post about the "burn of borderline personality disorder" here.

https://beautyandtheborderline.wordpress.com/2013/02/03/the-burn-of-borderline-personality-disorder/

There is a misconception that people with borderline personality disorder all act out in very overt ways, which isn't true. I'm an extremely introverted person and if I wasn't a large person with a mop of very thick and vivid hair on my head, no-one would ever notice me. The truth is that most people living with psychiatric issues suffer in silence. Most of us don't want to cause any trouble because we're tired of being stigmatized and victimized.

There are those who would say that people like me simply shouldn't participate in activities like this. I say that isn't true.

Sometimes my emotional skin is a little thicker than it's been this month. This has been a rather difficult year so far. 

One thing's for sure, though. Vampires are off the table with future WEP challenges. Because, yikes!

~Cie Has Vomited Words~

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 13: Fireflies

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steamy night

fireflies

out in the rain

steamy night

near marsh or swamp or wet field

dank, cloying odor

fireflies

once upon a time I thought

they were fairy steeds

out in the rain

sometimes I can remember

belief in magic

Jim & Cie

Notes:

The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by modern Haiku poet Jim Kacian. The Three Horses of the Apocalypse are to be blamed on me.

I don't believe in magic or much of anything else these days. But sometimes when it rains I can remember how it felt to believe.

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 12: White Valley Clouds

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after the rain

breathing deeply

white valley clouds

after the rain

not so much rain as spatters

it's still much too hot

breathing deeply

inhale the worry and fear

future uncertain

white valley clouds

seem to smirk at each other

telling lies of rain

Jane & Cie

Notes:

The "sleigh" of this Troiku was created by Jane Reichhold (1937 - 2016). The Three Horses of the Apocalypse are my doing--or possibly undoing.

Troiku Challenge 2019: Day 11: The Wind of Fuji

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the wind of Fuji

I've brought on my fan

a gift from Edo

the wind of Fuji

cool breezes are most welcome

move the clouds along

I've brought on my fan

a memory of breezes

blowing through my mind

a gift from Edo

a city I once studied

when I was quite young

~Basho & Cie~

Notes:

The "sleigh" of this Troiku was written by Matsuo Basho (1644 - 1694). The three "horses" can be blamed on me.

I have never been to Japan. The only places I have been outside the United States are Tijuana, Mexico, and Alberta, Canada. The last place I went outside of Colorado was Arizona in 2003.

I do not have the money to travel and with my health problems, it's probably not the best idea in any case.