The Cheese Grates It: Goals for 2020

Image by Annalise Batista from Pixabay

I refuse to do New Years' resolutions. Those always imply crap like "New You in 52," which, of course, means diet culture. I raised the middle finger to diet culture closing in on ten years ago, and I'm damn well not sorry. I suppose it will be a battle every day of my life till the day I die to be treated as a human being without buying into the same shit that never worked for me in 33 years of yo-yo dieting and trying to hate myself thin, but it's a battle that I will fight.

Here are my big fat goals for 2020.

To format and release my first non-erotic published work in 13 years. Ketil and Yitzy's Adventure in the Xura Dream House is finished. I am currently in the process of editing and formatting it. It will be published in January of 2020.

To start publishing my poetry. I am currently formatting a book called The Poetic Rejects of 2019, which will, as the name implies, contain all my rejected poems from the past year. It may also contain some rejected prose, depending on the length of the piece.

To continue to submit works here and there, now and then, all the while giving no fucks whether or not they are accepted or published.

To continue working on and publishing my own stories, regardless of whether or not anyone else likes or reads them.

Basically, to survive another year.

Oh, I do have one resolution.

I resolve that I will never again do anything like the Battle of the Poems.

That was really stupid of me, and I'm dreadfully sorry.

Best wishes to you, whatever your goals are in 2020. 

You are welcome to have resolutions, but if they are diet-y resolutions, I don't want to hear about them any more than I want to hear about your bowel movements.

I guess I have one more resolution.

I resolve to keep bringing the snark in 2020. It is my goal to make the ghost of Ambrose Bierce proud.

~The Cheese Hath Grated It~

I still miss these fuckers. Just sayin'.

Happy Xmahanukwanzyule 2019

Click to enlarge

Created with Pixlr

Background image:

Image by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

Shadow Shot Sunday + Not So Silent Sunday + Sunday Selections #460: Coyote Spirit Urban Art

Images copyright Cara Hartley/The Real Cie

You are welcome to use them, but please credit me

Notes:

One cool thing about the job I had between July and November of 2017 (the job that messed up my left arm) was the fact that I got to take pictures of so many interesting things. I drove around in the car in the second picture. It's parked in front of the townhouse where my son and I lived before moving to the Grover Hotel.

I don't have that car anymore and I'm not sad. That thing was always breaking down and leaving me stranded. I ended up trading it to my mechanic to use as parts in exchange for him forgiving me the cost of the water pump he'd installed. It probably would have broken down before it even made Greeley.

Sharing With:

Carpe Diem 7 Days Before Christmas: Light

Click to Enlarge

Haiga created in Pixlr 

Image by Pexels from Pixabay

Carpe Diem 7 Days before Christmas: Peace Within: A Senryu

Image by Maciej Szewczyk from Pixabay

to have peace within

heart and mind beneath the skin

the greatest of gifts

Tawddgyrch Cadwynog: The Story of Me

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

left out, cast off

never let in

by friend and kin

misunderstood

never take off

never begin

never will win

she never could

~Cie~

Friday Flashback + Fat Friday: Dreaming of a Mythos Xmahanukwanzyule

This post was originally published on 20 December 2011 on the Miskatonic University Netherworld Annex blog, which is currently in use as one of my private cataloging blogs. I am updating the post to include reactions to this lovely Xmahanukwanzyule tree, which is currently set up in President Cthulhu's office at the Miskatonic University Netherworld Annex main branch in Nightmare Heights, Netherworld.

Beavis: Hey, Butthead, that tree touched my butt!

Butthead: Beavis, that tree would kick your butt, you bumhug.

Visit the Artist

Cactus Clem: Grover, I feel a kinship with this here tree. It speaks to me!

Visit the Artist

Ghost Town Grover: When Cactus Clem says this here tree speaks to him, I'm purty sure he means that literal-like. It ain't said nary a word to me, but I kinda feel like it's watching me.

Sketch of Cthulhu by H.P. Lovecraft

So, why are we making this a Fat Friday post?

Because EVERY BODY deserves to have a Happy Xmahanukwanzyule free of body-shaming bullshit. That includes everyone from the mighty Cthulhu to YOU!

Happy Xmahanukwanzyule to All

And to all a good XHAGRALLLGHHHNZZZZ!

IÄ, IÄ!

Special thanks to the handy Alt Codes page.

Crazy Creatives Cheerleading Camp + Inner Champion Workbook Day 5: Taking the First Step

Disclosure: If readers purchase a copy of the book through the Preview link above, I earn a small commission from Amazon.

An important goal that I’m going to achieve:

Publishing my own writing--again.

Why this goal is important to me:

It has been important to me for many years. To be honest, writing is the only thing I really know how to do, regardless of whether I do it well or not.

What has been preventing me from taking the first step?

I have published my own works before, in 2007 and 2009. It was a bad experience. I used a POD publisher who ended up with a lot of my money and I ended up with nothing to show for it but a couple of boxes of unsold books. I also ended up meeting some people who were really not good for me. My association with them very nearly pushed me to stop writing for good. There are still some areas of my life that never completely recovered from the experiences I had with these people.

How can I remove these obstacles or work around them?

I prefer to self-publish. I don't want to go the "paper my walls with rejection letters" route. For me, it's a huge waste of time. I'm not going for being The Next Big Thing. I just want to publish my work. So I am doing so, via Kindle. I can format the books myself. 

In the future, I will also not allow other people's opinions to get under my skin and destroy me, and I will be very careful about the kinds of people I allow to get close to me. I discovered that overenthusiastic "fans" tend to have problems that render them toxic and destructive, particularly to a sensitive person who has low self-esteem and a high desire to be liked. In the future, I will address any "fans" in a polite but cool fashion rather than seeming too available and/or needy.

The first step I am going to take toward achieving my goal:

I'm already taking it. I am working on a manuscript for a novella to be published in e-book form in early 2020. I submitted a poetry manuscript to one organization and am preparing another poetry manuscript to be submitted to Writers' Digest early next year. The poems I will use are the winners in my ongoing Battle of the Poems. I wrote 30 and had to narrow it down to 20, so I created what I thought was a fun competition. I appreciate everyone who participated and, hopefully, will have more participants in future Battles.

I am also working on the manuscript for an illustrated story in poetic form. I wrote the verses. The illustrations are being done by the Mexican Chibi artist Kamidiox. Kami's commission fees are very affordable. Check out her work and contact her if you'd like her to do a piece for you. Tell her Cie sent you!

For support and accountability, I am going to share my goal with:

My son and a couple of trusted friends (including Kami, who I mentioned above) know about my goals. I tend to not want to bother other people with my crap, so sometimes I keep things between me and the Universe. I'm still learning to open up a bit while also protecting myself. Everything is a balancing act.

Free use image from Pixabay

Ornery Literary Services

Will work for links and tips

The Gothic Greek Giant: An Evocative Espinela

Image by André Santana from Pixabay

I don't know if he's very Gothic, but he is large and greenish.

I saw the Gothic Greek Giant

taking giant strides cool and slow

I don't know where he wants to go

laid back, but never compliant

although he is not defiant

the giant will never conform

he doesn't need to be the norm

he just wants to do his own thing

to paint pictures or sometimes sing

or just hang out and watch a storm

~Cie~

Announcements For the Week of 9 December 2019

Image by Darwin Laganzon from Pixabay

Due to the forthcoming WEP Challenge story on December 10, there will be no Tidbit Tuesday this week. Tidbit Tuesday will resume December 17.

The Battle of the Poems continues. I have only one participant for most of the poems. Come on, People, vote! It will help me to decide which poems to enter in the November PAD Chapbook Challenge final.

Naughty Netherworld Press' first non-erotic novelette or novella (to be determined at final word count) is due to be published at the beginning of 2020! Check the Weekend Writing Warriors tag to enjoy the current snippets from Ketil and Yitzy's Adventures in the Xura Dream House. This twenty-first-century New Cthulhu Mythos buddy tale features a group of outcasts trying to save the Cosmos. Will the unlikely heroes triumph, or will Earth fall to Nyarlathotep as so many worlds have before?

I am preparing to finalize my manuscript for the Waters Edge poetry competition. I honestly never expect to win these things because my mind does not work the way the minds of the judges of such competitions work, and I'm not going to pretend to be something I'm not. If my entry wins, they will publish a chapbook of my manuscript. If it doesn't, I'll publish the chapbook. Either way, look for my Another Autumn poetry collection in 2020.

I hope to get back into participating in the Pegman and Mindlovemisery's Menagerie prompts in 2020. I always enjoy those.

That's all the announcements for now. If I suddenly become insanely wealthy, I will have a butt-ton of lucrative giveaways in 2020! If I do not become insanely wealthy (which, let's face it, is the more realistic possibility) I will still have several literary and craft giveaways in 2020. 

Ornery Literary Services

Beta reading, proofreading, editing, book reviews

Will work for tips and links

Haikai Challenge #116 + Haiku My Heart: Cold Moon

the cold moon looks down

on a quiet little town

as the year runs out

~Cie~

Notes:

The Haiga and the Haikai Challenge logo were both created using stock images and the free Pixlr online photo editor. If you share the Haiga, please credit me. Please feel free to use the Haikai Challenge logo, no credit necessary.

Heeding Haiku: First Snowfall

Image Source

outside my new home

the first snow begins to fall

melancholy hope

~Cie~

Carpe Diem #1791: Bare Branches

Image Source

bare branches

a painting against the blue sky

leaves under my feet

crunch foretelling coming snow

chill breeze blowing through the air

bare branches like claws

reach into the great unknown

hard winter ahead

too little snow or too much

the wind chills me to my bones

the blue sky turns gray

the snow begins to fall down

blown by the cold wind

I retreat inside the house

the cold tries to reach me there

the leaves are long gone

to the earth or raked away

nothing can linger

things that lose their youthful shine

are hidden away from view

unforgiving sky

tells of foul weather to come

thankful for warning

I plan my week according

to the weather prophecy

chill breeze cuts through me

its cruelty refreshing

brutal honesty

the winter shows no mercy

to anything in its path

~Cie~

Notes:

The Hokku of the first verse was written by Yozakura the Unknown Haiku Poet. The rest can be attributed to me.

Carpe Diem #1790: Sunset Flowers

Image Source

seen for a moment

in the last of the sunlight

sparkling wet flowers

~Cie~

Notes:

Here is the poem by Matsuo Basho (1644 - 1694) provided for inspiration.

in the twilight rain

these brilliant-hued hibiscus -

a lovely sunset.

Battle of the Poems 2019: Day 1

Image by Andrew Martin from Pixabay

The rules are simple! Leave a comment telling me which poem you like best.

Poem 1:

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time

I dreamed

once upon a time

he was

but now there's nothing left

except the misery

as summer disappears

and the barkers burst the colorful balloons

and take down the faire

players only love you

when you bring them money

gas, grass, or ass

no-one rides for free

little boys grow up

become corrupt

use and throw away

stupid girls

once upon a time

I believed in something

once upon a time

I thought someone waited for me

now I know the truth

the only one waiting 'round the corner

to put his arms around me

is death

that no matter where I am

I'm just two steps ahead of that man

some days I'm philosophical

some days I'm scared out of my fucking mind

and some days I'd welcome the bastard

with open arms

once upon a time

you were mine

you loved this wretched, broken thing

but like a leaf on the breeze you blew away

some things are too corrupted to love 

I thought I saw you coming back to me

but then I woke from my dream

the fairytale disappeared

in a puff of smoke

like Little Jackie Paper

you snuffed out your dreams of Puff

dragons aren't real

magic only exists in fairy tales

and love is nothing but a lie

once upon a time

I believed in happy ever after

now I only believe

that dreams vanish

and hearts break

and

everything

dies

~

Poem 2

Alpha to Omega

all alone adrift

boiling bad blood brew

chewing cyanide capsules

drinking death's draught

exhaling exotic excitotoxins

feeling fancy-free

gladly grabbing green

hoarding hazy hemlock

incinerating incriminating images

jaded joy juxtaposed

kicking kaleidoscopic kings

love long lost

makes me mad

nothing nice nevermore

only old offerings

placate pagan poltergeists

quietly quaffing quince

rebellious rogues repel

sweetly singing satyrs

thrilling tap-dancing troubadours

unique undines undulate

vanquishing vicious villains

while winsome warblers

xor xanthic xenophobes

yesterday's yearning youth

zap zingy Zambonis

Which one do you choose? One or two? You can leave an explanation, or just say which one you like.

Remember, whoever participates the most often will receive a $5 Amazon gift card. In the event of a tie, I will invoke the mighty coin, dice, or what have you.

~Cie~

We're back!

What Lunch Looked Like

How y'all am are? I was not expecting to be back so soon, but, as fate would have it, I'm here and so are you! So, let's do this!

After spending a freezing night without power in the old Grover Hotel, the Ornery Old Lady (that's me) and Sonny Boy headed to Greeley to gather up some supplies in case we were looking at another night to a week or more of this. We stopped at Taco John's, a place I haven't been to in some 35 years. In fact, that's where I made my last post from!

I was glad to find that Taco John's still tastes the same, but the price about knocked me out of the ballpark. Twenty bucks for a chicken quesadilla, a stuffed taco, Potato Ole's, drinks, and some guacamole, queso, and sour cream. Honestly, it's not that bad for today's prices, but I can remember when I was in high school and would go to Taco John's instead of eating the cafeteria swill. I'd have five bucks on me and get a whole meal and still get change back. Well, so it goes.

We went to Home Depot and bought a propane-powered space heater and looked into getting a backup generator. We picked up a snow shovel, which I thought was steel. It was aluminum and it bent easily. Not a winner there. We got a flashlight and a mini lantern. Then we headed to visit my son's second cousins on his father's side. They said that if the power was going to be out for a while, we could bring the cats and stay with them.

We hit the King Soopers to get some nonperishables like crackers and tinned kippers and then headed for home.

My son was reading the instructions for the space heater and I was getting the snow shovel out of the car when he came running out in an excited mood. The power was back on! I looked down the street to see the blinking red light just beyond the general store, and it never looked so beautiful!

It's still colder than a well-digger's ass in the old Hotel, but the furnace is back on and the temperature is rising. I've got salmon, potatoes, and corn in the oven. I also have (I hope) a fun opportunity.

I am going to need help deciding which poems to put in my manuscript for the November PAD Chapbook Challenge. So, for the next month, I will be having a Battle of the Poems. I will put up two poems, and I would like readers to decide which of the two they prefer. You can give me a reason, or just say "I like number (one or two) best." 

There will be a prize as an incentive for helping me. 

The person who comments on the most poems will receive a $5 Amazon gift card in their email. In the event that there is a tie, I will use a coin, dice, or Random Number Generator to help me choose.

I think this will be fun, and I hope I can get a few people to play along.

The first Battle of the Poems will appear tomorrow!

~Cie~

November PAD Chapbook Challenge 2019: Day 30: A Fetch Story Poem: The End

Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay

When the end came to her world

She left her body behind

Everything she knew was gone

She walked through poison atmosphere

Watching the city burn

She looked up to the sky

At the small sun gone nova

Having glutted itself on the energies

Of its larger companion

The planet flooded with gamma rays

Could no longer sustain life

She grieved her useless efforts

Wishing she could snuff herself out

Like one of the candles that she burned

In the vain hope of countering

The misguided sorcery

That brought about the end

The end of life

The end of hope

The end of everything

~Cie Channeling Princess Ondina~

Note:

The final prompt in the November PAD Chapbook Challenge was "The End." I was inspired to write a poem for Team Netherworld's long-running WIP, Fetch. 

Princess Ondina was the reluctant captive regent of the tyrannical monarchy of West Zecor. Misusing powerful magic learned from his mystical adviser Yadira, the daughter and High Priestess of Nyarlathotep, Ondina's megalomaniac psychopath brother King Qweh triggered a reaction in the planetary system's smaller sun, Zetar Beta, causing it to begin devouring its larger companion. This ill-advised action brought about the doom of Zecor (Zetar 6). Princess Ondina is the previous incarnation of Fetch's female protagonist, Pepper Baiij. 

The reincarnation sequence of the Fetch story was born because I had long wanted to write a backstory for the third season original Star Trek episode The Lights of Zetar. This episode tends to be pretty much universally panned, and it certainly has its flaws, i.e. if Captain Kirk had referred to a grown-ass woman in her 30s as "the girl" one more time, I swore I was going to jump through the screen and make him wear his 'nads for earrings, but I was fascinated and, frankly, terrified by the malevolent light colony. It provided me many years of nightmares. To this day, even as desensitized as I am to most so-called horror (which generally consists of gore and jump-scares), I still cannot watch this episode in the dark.

Fun Trivia: The Lights of Zetar was co-written by the late Shari Lewis of Lamb Chop fame and her husband Jeremy Tarcher. Lovable Miss Shari definitely had a dark side to her imagination!

Heeding Haiku: Senryu: Runaway Steam Engine

Image Source

doing much too much

the steam engine of my mind

runs over my dreams

~Cie~

Carpe Diem #1789: Winter Trees

Image by David Mark from Pixabay

axe unfolding wood

the lumberjack's hand brings down

winter trees on snow

axe unfolding wood

scent of oils rising from bark

mighty giants fallen

the lumberjack's hand brings down

sturdy wood to build new homes

and for furniture

winter trees on snow

they can serve the people well

if culled thoughtfully

~Cie~

Sustainable forestry practices allow us to live in harmony with nature.

Notes:

This Troiku was created from a fusion Haiku inspired by a pair of Haiku by Yosa Buson (1716 - 1784).

cutting into with the ax,

I was surprised at the scent.

the winter trees.

unfolding at the

hand of the glass polisher:

a camellia!

© Yosa Buson

Carpe Diem Tan Renga Wednesday on Friday: The Old Pond

I like this frog. This frog has a "don't fuck with me" look about it. I resonate with this frog.

old pond

a frog jumps in

sound of water

splashes on my face wake me

bringing me back down to earth

~Basho & Cie~

Notes:

The Hokku stanza of this poem was penned by Matsuo Basho (1644 - 1694). The Ageku stanza is all about me.

November PAD Chapbook Challenge 2019: Day 29: Have iPhone, Will Travel

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Have iPhone

Will travel

I've never seen the Northern Lights

I'd like to get them in my sights

To watch their ghostly green glow

As they put on their show

See them dance across the sky

And if I could fly

I'd like to dance into their beams

And leap from stream to stream

Have iPhone, honey

But no money

So I won't be going far

In my beat-up car

But when my beat-up body ceases to run

I'll go and have my fun

I'll ride on the green glow

Who knows how far I'll go?

Dancing in the Northern Lights

I'll become one with the night

~Cie~

Notes:

The November PAD Chapbook Challenge prompt for today was Have (blank.) 

This poem came out of nowhere. I just wrote it down.