Live Tiny, Die Never

The Tardigrade or water bear it is said

Can live in conditions that would kill others clean dead

It could go floating through space

Like dried-out old waste

And use a meteorite for its bed

~Cie~

Mad For You

Secret Fates Version 11:

The Door to my Heart

Photoshop Manipulation by The Real Cie

Love is always a lie, but you're no liar

You said you loved me

You set my world on fire

I've never been a winner, only a trier

You asked me to give it a try with you

Love is always a lie, but you're no liar

Once bitten twice shy, but I'm even shyer

You said I was just what you needed

You set my world on fire

I've always been the rebel and defier

I defied my own rules to be with you

Love is always a lie, but you're no liar

Did you have any notion of what loving me would require?

I have no ability to trust although I love you so much

You set my world on fire

It's still burning

For 

Gem from Cie

and

Gerry from Pepper

 

Notes:

Today the assignment was to take a Sylvia Plath poem and write a response to it. My favorite has always been Mad Girl's Love Song. Sadly, I have been able to resonate all too well with this poem in my life. Love has not been kind to me. 

Here is the original.

Mad Girl's Love Song

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

Shadorma: My Little One

I wish you

 Had never left me

Little one

 I will mourn

 Every day of my life for

 The day I lost you

I will love you always, Lafayette

Forever my little buddy 

The tattoo on my left shoulder in honor of one of the best friends I ever had.

Don't like tattoos?

Don't like how my back looks?

Let me just tell you how many fucks I give.

 

Senryu: Ten of Swords

I Blinked and the World Was Gone

Photoshop Manipulation by The Real Cie

That you were so brave

 When there was no hope at all

 Is all that remains

 ~Cie~

When the Nose Blows

Copyright jleason on deviantart

When the nose blows

The explosion can be heard

For miles and miles and miles

Vision blurred

It's a tough challenge

When the nose blows while driving

 The taste of the trickle

That runs from the nose to the throat

Neutral to nauseating

Smell muted for a moment

Or maybe several

It may be a sneeze barrage

Then there are those occasions

Of explosive art

When a sneeze turns to a snart

~Cie~

 Notes:

Today's poem was supposed to include all five senses. I kind of did that.

The -666 readers of this blog may notice new poems creeping in on past dates where you hadn't seen a poem before. These poems aren't back-dated or anything. You just didn't notice them until now!

Senryu: Pinned Down

A voodoo doll, on display in the Louvre

Above everything

 Never let her think that she

 Has a chance to win

~Cie~

Notes:

Pretty much what I think the Universe says about me.

Also works for Pepper, the main female protagonist in Team Netherworld's eternal WIP, Fetch.

The bad thing about having a blog with no audience is bleeding my heart out and no-one cares.

The good thing about having a blog with no audience is being able to bleed my heart out and no-one tells me I can't or shouldn't. 

I Refuse

Somewhere Out There Version 15

Photoshop manipulation by The Real Cie

I refuse

 To believe that you 

No longer exist at all

Even though that

Is the most sensible thing

To believe

According to those

Who pride themselves

In being very sensible

I believe

That something of you

Still exists

I'm not talking about

Some pithy platitude

Nothing like this

No annoying "humor me" sentiment

Like "he still exists as long as you

Hold him in your heart"

Which is the same as saying

Nothing is left

But you have fun with that, Honey

What I'm saying is there's something left

Some kind of energy

Something usually too subtle to perceive

Something real is there

Some part of you remains

I refuse to believe otherwise

I refuse to agree

With the sensible and the pithy

I will hold onto the outrageous

I believe

In you

And me

For Gem from Cie

and 

For Gerry from Pepper

Notes:

Once I got through running things through filters to achieve an abstract effect, the original images aren't easily recognizable. However, I wanted to give a shout-out to HDgreenstudio and Thalia Took, whose images played an essential role in the creation of this piece.

Spirits, both human and other, are generally subtle in their presentation. I have seen spirits, but it is rare to see what was referred to by The Real Ghostbusters as "a full-torso apparition." Spirits have a higher vibration than corporeal beings and are made of pure energy. It would be wonderful if communicating with them was as easy and direct as Hollywood makes it appear to be. Alas, it is seldom so.  

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Disclosure: I am not employed by SurveySavvy or Luth Research, and I am not being compensated for sharing this information.

Best Wishes,

Cie

Note:

I published this on the wrong blog. It was supposed to go on my business blog. However, I decided to leave it here as well because you never know.

Shadorma: Silent Voices

Postapocalyptic Sorrow Version 5

Photoshop Manipulation by The Real Cie

Can voices

 Silenced in this world

 Be heard from

 The next world

 If we open up our minds

 And open our hearts

With love from

Cie for Gem

and

Pepper for Gerry

 

Notes:

The prompt was for a poem based in sound. I guess I did that thematically. 

Senryu and Others: A Wish

You came back to me

 You were curled up on the bed

 You were well and whole

Mama misses you

Is there anything quite so fucking useless and impotent as tears?

  Note:

If you have a problem with my use of profanity to express my grief and anger, fuck off and take your sanctimonious bullshit with you. I have no patience for tongue-clucking, finger-wagging, holier-than-thou politesse today. 

Double-Dip Shadorma: Whatever We or I Want

I ran this photo of the Douchebag Family through a bunch of filters, not to protect their identities, but because it was fun. You can see the original photo and read about how they came to be known as the Douchebag Family here.

 I

When they were

 Caught carving their names

 On public

 Property

 The darling daughter replied

 In her lovely way

 II

 We can do

 Whatever we or 

 I want to

 Narcissist

 Product of narcissistic

 Social ideals

~cie~

Notes:

The prompt today was narcissism.

I chose to paint an unflattering portrait of a narcissistic family who saw fit to deface public property in a national park.

Shadorma: Get Sick and Die

Hookworm

Despite the

 Worst efforts of the

 New order

 To insure

 My early death, I live on

 And I will fight them

~The Real Cie~ 

Notes:

This piece was inspired by this post about the treatment of sick and poor people in Lord Dampnut's Amerikkka. As part of the working poor class, and as a disabled person, living in Lord Dampnut's Amerikkka is terrifying.

Shadorma: Reduced to This

I dunno. I think it works.

Read the poem first and then the notes.

It might make more sense that way.

Or not.

Always if

 You feel like you must

 Write and your

 Subject is

 Not the sort who would be cool

 The down-low is best

~The Cheese Grates It Poetically~

Notes:

First, the Rules of Engagement.

 Today we challenge you to write a paragraph that briefly recounts a story, describes the scene outside your window, or even gives directions from your house to the grocery store. Now try erasing words from this paragraph to create a poem or, alternatively, use the words of your paragraph to build a new poem.

So, I was getting ready to go to bed, and I just got through writing a post regarding my ideas about what's cool and what isn't in writing fan fiction. If you really want to read it, you can find it here. 

I'm extremely liberal regarding the rules when writing about fictional characters, rather more conservative when it comes to writing about real people.

I took my words from the last paragraph in my essay. 

It turned out surprisingly not awful.

I will go to bed now. 

The Dead World

Perennial tears descend in gems

From the eyes of those who remember when

They weep: from off their delicate stems

Where leaves will never grow again

Eternal dews come down in drops

In a flood which seems will never stop

They wave: from out their fragrant tops

Poison rain destroys good crops

And weep above a nameless grave!

In this world where nothing can be saved

Over the lilies there that wave

On the seashore, near the cave

In myriad types of the human eye

None of them notice when I cry

Over the violets there that lie

My breath escapes in a hopeless sigh

Uneasily from morn till even

I search in vain to find a reason

That rustle through the unquiet Heaven

Naught is revealed in study or sweven

Ah, by no wind those clouds are driven

In vain another day I've striven

Around the misty Hebrides!

A voice moans mournful through the trees

That palpitate like the chill seas

Ah, by no wind are stirred those trees

The moans cause the blood in my veins to freeze

Over the magic solitude

A feeling of terror doth intrude

Nothing save the airs that brood

Can be envisioned or construed

Nothing there is motionless

An invisible hand my cheek does caress

The sad valley's restlessness

Brings to my soul a deep distress

Now each visitor shall confess

Now each mind will begin to regress

The red sunlight lazily lay

Over the kingdom far away

In the midst of which all day

The devout bow their heads to pray

To keep watch above the flowers

To drive away the terror of the hours

Nightly, from their azure towers

Whilst death rains from the sky in showers

Trusting to the mild-eyed stars

To take them somewhere very far

They had gone unto the wars

Knowing not what they were fighting for

Where the people did not dwell

The world made a living hell

Once it smiled a silent dell

O'er the land rang the sound of a funeral bell

By Cie and Gem and Gerry and Pepper

With apologies and thanks to Edgar Allan Poe

My Family Skeletons

When my grandpappy died in his palace

We'd no sooner raised up the chalice

When such an uproar arose

 With shocking secrets exposed

It rivaled Dynasty and Dallas

~Cie~

Note:

The truth might not quite have rivaled Dynasty and Dallas, but after my paternal grandfather died, there was a lot of contention between my father and my grandfather's second wife (both RIP) and some unattractive skeletons emerged from a few closets.

Senryu: Life

I took an unflattering selfie and ran it through a bunch of filters, maxing out the distortion where possible to give it a decayed look. The end result is purposefully disturbing.

A game where the rules

 Shift whenever you learn them

 Can never be won

~Cie~

Shadorma: Not Mary Poppins

Such a good 

Nanny devoted

 To her young

 Charge she would

 Even kill or die for him

 Most dedicated

 

~Cie~

 

 

Fetch: Dreamland Dictionary

A cup of dreams by dandingeroz

A teacup means I drink you in

A hammer means my heart you'll break

A seagull means you've flown away

To the land where breezes carry the stench of decay

A ballet slipper means

I'm dancing through lost dreams

Of childhood long gone

Of hope torn at the seams

Shark means I'm consumed by troubles

Wobbly table, my precarious ground

I'm cast out because no-one wants to bear witness

As the tears from my eyes stream down

A dentist in my dreams 

Means I should shut my damn mouth

Before I say the wrong words

And everything goes south

A rowboat means I want to sail away

To where my lost seagull has flown

Take me with you to the Land of Dreams

I can't bear to be here on my own

~For Gerry from Pepper~

 Notes:

Much of Team Netherworld's story, Fetch, takes place in the Dreamlands of Earth, a fantastical realm created by H.P. Lovecraft. 

Word Salad:

Teacup

Hammer

Seagull

Ballet slipper

Shark

Wobbly table

Dentist

Rowboat

Ode to the Corpse Flower

The pungent Corpse Flower resides in the hothouse at the Denver Botanic Gardens

I jumped into the crowd

That hurried swiftly past

Don't stop and smell the Corpse Flower

Its scent will kick your lily ass

~Cie~

Notes:

We were supposed to take cliche phrases and "turn them on their head."

I used "go against the grain" and "stop and smell the roses."

The Corpse Flower is a real plant. You can't make this crap up.

The Corpse Flower is not an actual Lovecraftian horror. BUT IT COULD BE!

Haibun: Borderline Groupthink Callout Hell

Click to Enlarge

Inside my own head

 Or going out of my mind

 What the hell is real?

~The Unreal Cie~

Content warning for profanity and lots of it. 

So if profanity upsets you, don't read this shit.  

I generally have the borderline aspect of my incredibly fucked-up psyche under much better control than I used to. However, stress can trigger this aspect. Although the manifestation is less destructive overall because I have more capacity for reasoning things out than I did when I was younger, my anxiety levels still fly right off the scale, and I feel like my heart and head are going to fucking explode.

There you go.

I don't know if it's just me, but it seems that people these days are incapable of disagreeing without becoming violently disagreeable, at least verbally. I've never particularly enjoyed debating, I find it stressful. However, I was always taught to be civil. These days, people feel entitled to go on the attack anytime someone disagrees with them even a little.

Politically, I lean way to the left. However, I find the the far left equally as troubling as the far right. If you don't adhere to their exact thought patterns, you get accused of all kinds of things. 
Last night, I made the mistake of leaving what I thought was an innocent comment agreeing with an author who stated that he felt a jackass comment made by a right-wing pundit was inappropriate but it wasn't sexual harassment. I stated that I felt it was important to make the distinction between hyperbolic posturing such as this and actual sexual harassment, and I got piled on. If you want to see the article in question, it's here. I'm not going back there. 

The first person vehemently accused me of not believing that zir rape was rape, and it devolved from there. One person felt the need to explain to me that forced anal penetration was rape. Well, no shit, Sherlock. I am aware of this. Another demanded to know if I broadcast my off-the-cuff hyperbole on television. Obviously not, Shithead. I told him that I generally use a bullhorn.

I attempted to voice my disagreements in a reasonable fashion, but they were having none of it. Callout culture and groupthink have made it impossible to have a non-toxic debate. I fucked off, allowing the screaming meemies to think they won teh internetz!!!1!!

I try to avoid this kind of environment, because I find it extremely (I hate to use this badly overused word) triggering. I honestly didn't think there was potential for this sort of backlash as I thought I was dealing with adults. I expected disagreement, but I expected it to be rational in presentation. Man, was I wrong!

I was already under a lot of stress, and now I feel like my body is full of stinging insects. It's one of those days where I'd like to just take a low dose edible and take a load off, but I have too much to do.

For me, the edibles work a lot better than benzodiazepenes. There is no rebound effect (most benzos), no mind-numbing dullness (Valium), no extreme sedation. I wish I could just do that. But, nooo. So here we are.

I feel like the current call-out culture has given people permission to behave in an odious, entitled manner and to have no manners.

As it is, I sometimes have trouble even checking my comments for fear that I will be attacked.

I really don't belong on this planet.

Damn. That was the shittiest Haibun I ever wrote. Sorry. 

 

Senryu: Stark Reality

Image by Raivn_70

With my health problems

 My time on earth may be more

 Brief than I expected

~Cie~

Notes:

Brevity is the beauty of the Senryu.

Senryu: I Listened, I Hear

I Blinked and the World Was Gone

Photoshop Manipulation by The Real Cie

I am listening

 I hear the song that you played

 When you were alive

~Cie~

When Cars Collide: A Shadorma

The little

 Mini Cooper car

 Backed up and

 Quickly met

 Me and my mid-size sedan

 Meeting unwanted

~Cie~

 Notes:

This is a story that's sad but true.

Very low-speed collision, no injuries. The fellow thought that the man in front of him was backing up. He backed up just as I approached, and I didn't have time to react.

My front bumper was pulled slightly away from the body of the car. It goes to the shop tomorrow. The other driver's insurance is covering the cost for repairs.

The trouble is, I work delivering food, my other car needs a new water pump, and I can't deliver food in the rental car that Geico is providing for me. Hopefully I'll have my car back within a couple of days.

Pepper's Fetch

Beautiful Boy Version 13

Photoshop Manipulation by The Real Cie

I can feel you near

I can see you in my mind

But not with my eyes

From Pepper

With love for Gerry

Notes:

I believe we technically followed the prompt today. We were asked to create a poem about something magical. Gerry Clifford certainly qualifies.

Pepper initially encountered Gerry while working in a retirement community on the night shift. Gerry was not a resident of said retirement community, located in Lawrence, Kansas. He was thousands of miles away in London. However, his physical brain was badly impaired. He was a spirit still attached to his body, a being described in Irish folklore as a "Fetch."

Pepper knew who Gerry was. He was drawn to her by the intensity of her sadness upon learning of his fate. However, the instant they encountered one another, it became clear that there was another force drawing them together, something which Pepper initially tried to deny for fear of being hurt again as she had been so many times before. 

Gerry was the one being in the entire Cosmos for whom Pepper would refute her vow never to allow herself to fall in love again. Her resistance didn't last long. 

Serab's Senryu: The Ghosts of What Was

Zetar's End Version 13

Photoshop Manipulation by The Real Cie

Sometimes I sense ghosts

From a world long dead and gone

I weep for what was

~Serab~

Cie's notes:

Serab is a past incarnation of the musician Gerry Clifford, the main male protagonist in Team Netherworld's eternal WIP, Fetch. Serab was a resident of Zetar 6 (Zecor), a world with a binary star system where the smaller sun began pulling energy off the larger sun, setting off a nova which destroyed the inner planets and rendered the sixth planet incapable of sustaining life.

Serab in spirit form viewed the nova just before being relocated to a place which his beloved Princess Ondina, a powerful sorceress, referred to as "the Realm of the Yellow Sun." 

In her grief and guilt over Serab's murder by her brutal and jealous megalomaniac brother King Qweh, Ondina believed it necessary that she and Serab should never again cross paths. Serab's longing for Ondina eventually overrode her spell, and, near the end of his lifetime as Gerry Clifford, he found her again. She had reincarnated as Pepper Baiij, a medium living with major mental illness whose life had never gone quite right.

As Gerry and Pepper became reacquainted and their love rekindled, memories of their past incarnations on Zecor were awakened, and an old and dangerous foe re-emerged in the form of Yadira Root, a powerful high priestess of Nyarlathotep, whose plans for Gerry were most unsavory.

TL:DR

We majorly deviated from the prompt given today.