Odontophobia

 

Base image by Umanoide on Unsplash

Click to enlarge

Oh, how dearly I fear 

Dental appointment day.

Only I don't overly mind

Needing my teeth cleaned.

The thing that unsettles me most is sitting

Open-mouthed for long

Periods of time.

Having my face numb,

Orifice probed with a drill,

Being unable to leave

If I choose,

And feeling like I'm choking to death.

notes

Buckle up, Bitches, it's gonna be a rough ride! If you're sensitive about swearing, it's best that you hit the back button on your browser and go bye-bye now.

The beautiful picture poem was inspired by this beautiful prompt, asking participants to prettily share a phobia via an acrostic poem.

https://experiencewriting.com/2023/10/12/oct-12-prompts-pulling-back-the-veil/

Poem, not phorm. What the phucque is a phorm?

I added text art and effects to the image using Pixlr. You're welcome to share the poem with all your dentist friends or anyone else, but please credit Cara Hartley/Ornery Owl and maybe leave a link back to this blog. Thanks in advance.

I have fairly severe odontophobia. I'm not afraid of my dentist. He's a decent guy, unlike the first dentist I saw at ten years old, who told me to shut up and enjoy having my teeth pulled. Not to put too fine a point on it, but he was a cunt.

My history of sexual trauma and instances of dental shaming, including from my father who said that the only people who get cavities are those who eat too much sugar and don't brush properly all contribute to my aversion to dental procedures. The garbage icing on this raw sewage cake is my delightful case of vocal cord dysfunction. 

What the hell is vocal cord dysfunction, you wish to know?

Glad you asked! Also called paradoxical vocal fold motion, this means that instead of opening when I inhale, my vocal cords close. Because of course they do. Heaven forfend anything should work properly in this shit show of a body. 

Physicians frequently misdiagnose vocal cord dysfunction as asthma because the person dealing with it feels like they are unable to breathe deeply. I was misdiagnosed with asthma for decades. If I have asthma at all, it's mild and allergy-related. One of the tells is the fact that I never found much relief from using an inhaler. I do have allergies. I take Singulair and Zyrtec, which mostly make it so I can breathe through my nose.

A laryngospasm can be triggered by various stimuli, such as cold air, GERD, post-nasal drip, and your friend and mine, 

When I'm at the dentist, I jump on a vicious cycle driven by this guy. You might correctly surmise that he doesn't give a fuck about comfort or safety.

Image by Alexa from Pixabay

The vicious cycle process goes a little bit something like this.

I get anxious, in this case about having dental work done.

Instead of opening when I inhale, my vocal cords close.

Feeling like I can't take a good breath makes me feel more anxious.

The more anxious I feel, the more intense the focus on my breath becomes.

I start to feel like I'm choking, which makes me feel even more anxious.

The anxiety builds to the point where I have a panic attack.

Benzodiazepines (I swear I will never be able to spell this word properly), which are what dentists typically prescribe for anxiety, either work paradoxically on my contrary nervous system, elevating my heart rate and causing panic attacks (most benzos) or the amount of adrenaline coursing through my body overwhelms them and they don't work at all (diazepam). 

I certainly have a restful sleep if I take diazepam, but it doesn't do jack shit to counteract my dental anxiety.

Nitrous oxide helps a little bit sort of, unless the claustrophobia prompted by the mask triggers a panic attack, which is what happened the last time I tried it.

IV sedation for dental procedures really should be covered by Medicare and Medicaid. Severe dental anxiety isn't uncommon, and it prevents people from getting the care they need. Dental health impacts the rest of the body. If people knew they could sleep through the procedure, they would be less likely to put off getting dental work done. 

I always opt for IV sedation where possible for medical procedures. Going under anesthesia scares me shitless, which is a poem for another time. Also, intubation could exacerbate my vocal cord dysfunction, and I sure as hell don't need that.

Dee Snider wrote Under the Blade because being anesthetized and having surgery sucks. The clowns of the PMRC decided the song was about bondage and rape, but at the end of the day, that's all right. The Parental Advisory stickers ended up being a joke, increasing the sales of "naughty" albums. This is exactly what John Denver predicted would happen.

"That which is denied becomes that which is most desired, and that which is hidden becomes that which is most interesting. Consequently, a great deal of time and energy is spent trying to get at what is being kept from you." --John Denver

Like John Denver, I am vehemently opposed to censorship.

I'm feeling mighty generous today, Folks. Here's the 2002 VH1 docudrama depicting the PMRC hearings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZRS6Avu0cg

~Ornery Owl Has Freely Spoken~

Free use image from Open Clipart Vectors

“It's a beautiful thing, the destruction of words.”

― George Orwell, 1984