Image by Jenny Friedrichs from Pixabay
taught from a young age
that I was wrong
and stupid
ridiculous
the butt
of the joke
throat clenching
trying to keep from screaming
shame on everyone
who made me
what I am
ashamed
to be
me
notes
I added effects to the base image using Pixlr.
Body Horror: Write a poem about the thing or things that scare you about the human body.
This could be a fun day to do a spoken poem.
Hahahaha! Fun, you say? I think fucking not.
It's very rare for me to do a spoken poem. I don't like my voice, which has been ridiculed for most of my life.
I'm currently doing speech therapy. Not to change the sound of my voice but to correct vocal cord dysfunction. With vocal cord dysfunction, the vocal cords close on inspiration rather than opening. It's often misdiagnosed as asthma. Trust me, it makes having dental procedures a lot of fun--so not.
One of the primary causes of vocal cord dysfunction is anxiety. Like in people with complex PTSD. In other words, people with a history of relentless abuse.
I learned at a young age that I needed to keep quiet lest I be smacked for saying something stupid or ridiculed for having a peculiar voice.
The knot of tears around my throat crystallized into my design.
~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~
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