Showing posts with label limericks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label limericks. Show all posts

Friday, November 10, 2023

The Diabolical Drama of Darius (With Pictures) #8Sunday

 


Young Darius went on a date


With a succubus seeking a mate.

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

In a twist of the plot


He thought her brother was hot.

"Curses! Foiled again!"

With the lady, he did not consummate.

notes

This poem can be blamed on this prompt.


Write a character poem, they said.

It will be fun, they said.

Fun for me, sure. Maybe not for the people reading it.

Let me tell you about the poem.

One of the three stories I'm working on for this year's NaNoHellMo project is set on New Year's Eve 1999. The protagonist is a young man who has a history of dating the sort of gal who works at places with names like The Classy Cabaret. Hint: the name is the only thing that's classy about this cabaret. Darius decides he needs to change his ways in the new millennium, so he finds a nice young woman on a dating website. 

Darius makes two discoveries during the course of the evening.

First, his date, Briana, is a succubus.

Second, he's more attracted to her incubus brother Brian.

Apparently, this isn't an uncommon occurrence as the twins' mother, Lilith, admonishes Brian to stop stealing his sister's playthings. 

I can't share any snippets from the story because:

1) It's still in the train wreck stage.

2) I'm going to submit it for potential inclusion in the Digital Love anthology from Dragon Soul Press. If they don't want it, I'll self-publish it for Valentine's Day 2024. 

If you'd like to jump in the game and submit one of your stories to Dragon Soul Press, just follow the handy link. You'll need to be quick because the deadline is November 30. They are looking for stories between 3000 and 20,000 words.


This is a Lil DeVille story, so it doesn't hold back on the heat. 

Subscribe to Lil's newsletter here.




Most of the images used in this post were generated using QuickWrite.


Yes, QuickWrite is an AI.

No, I don't use it to write my stories.

I use it to do things like create the image in this post. I also use it to create filler scenes so I can move along in a story because it drives my obsessive ADHD brain loopy to just write "Put scene here." Then I come back and rewrite the filler scene. 

I've found QuickWrite to be a useful tool. Monthly access is $49.99. Lifetime access is $497. You can check it out here.














Friday, June 23, 2023

All the Comforts of Space

 

Image by NatureFriend from Pixabay
This chair isn't made of wood or anything. It's made from some kind of highly advanced extraterrestrial material and designed for the most evolved comfort.

An FBI agent named Scully
Followed a trail down into a gully
She found a UFO seat
Its comfort couldn't be beat
So she sat and stared into space dully.

Why the hell did you write this, Owl?

Well, obnoxious asker of questions, my audience was clamoring for a follow-up to my ultra-popular, smash hit poem, Gross Encounters of the Worst Kind.


Okay, one reader casually mentioned that since Mulder got his own poem, it might be nice if Scully had a poem too. So I racked my brain until I shook out a word that rhymed with Scully and came up with the above. No need for applause. Buying a book is thanks enough!

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Free use image by Jim Cooper on Pixabay
Ah, UFO Jockey! Back for more poetic injustice, I see!



I built the official Naughty Netherworld Press page using Pagimate. You can check them out here. 


I tried to build author pages in the past but always ended up frustrated. With Pagimate, it's easy and even fun. It's also affordable. I purchased a lifetime membership for £179 ($202 USD). 

Use code CARA20 if you decide to create your own page with Pagimate.

Tuesday, June 20, 2023

Gross Encounters of the Worst Kind #WEP

 

Image by pencil parker from Pixabay
Just who is responsible for this travesty?

An FBI agent named Mulder

Researched a UFO sighting near Boulder

He stepped in alien poo

Which ruined his shoe

So the trail went a little bit colder

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken in 28 Words~

Free use image by Jim Cooper on Pixabay
Don't you even try to pin this on me, UFO Jockey!




Ornery Owl says:
Yeah, sure, you can give this piece the full-on critique if you really feel compelled to do so, but I can save you some time.

1) This is not a great poem. I don't believe for a second it will win any prizes. That isn't its purpose.
2) The poem has too many syllables in the second line.
3) Depending on what part of the world you're from, Mulder and Boulder may not rhyme very well. My horrific accent makes everything sound like it got shoved down a garbage disposal. You, however, may be one of those high-fallutin' sorts who enunciate words clearly.
4) The poem's genre is comedy. If it made you laugh, cool. If it didn't make you laugh, at least you only had to suffer through 28 words. 

That's about all I have to say about that. Until next time!








Sunday, November 27, 2022

November PAD Challenge 2022: Day 27: Artful Resolution

 

Henri Rousseau Self Portrait from L’ile Saint Louis

The artist Henri Rousseau
Painted himself bigger than life, you know
He stood at the center
Of the portrait he rendered
Where he was the best thing on show

I resolve to be like Henri
To make my life more about me
The way that I see it
I shouldn't dream it, but be it
Imagination will set me free

~Arty Owl Has Spoken~

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

notes and prompts used

Prompt: For today's prompt, write a resolution poem.


Prompt: The self-portrait by Henri Rousseau


Henri Julien Félix Rousseau; (21 May 1844 – 2 September 1910) was a French post-impressionist painter in the Naïve or Primitive manner. He was also known as Le Douanier (the customs officer), a humorous description of his occupation as a toll and tax collector. Ridiculed during his lifetime by critics, he came to be recognized as a self-taught genius whose works are of high artistic quality.

His self-portrait, painted in 1890, is on display in the National Gallery in Prague.

Today's Playlist


Saturday, April 23, 2022

April PAD Challenge/NaPoWriMo 2022 Day 22/23



I intended to publish this post yesterday but ended up being very busy. Then I had to wear a pulse oximeter in the evening as part of a sleep study so I couldn't type. I have one more night of this beastly sleep study and I'll be glad to send that cyborg rig back. The heart rate monitor belt started cutting into my armpits, the pulse oximeter was inconvenient and I kept pulling its cord out of the monitor, and the prongs of the nasal cannula for the apnea test were so long it felt like they were there to locate my brain through my nose. Never mind all that, let's get to the prompts.

Yesterday's poem was called Paleontology 3319, and it was about future scientists discovering an extinct species: frogs. Climate change is causing problems for frog populations.

Prompts used

Write a poem featuring repetition


Write an organism poem


Write a riddle poem

Now for today's prompts. Why don't we give DJ Fernando Ferreyra a listen while I gather these?


 https://odysee.com/@xcmusic:4/ibiza-deep-house-2020-vol-17-:1?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

Sleepless in Grover

Prompts Used

https://www.napowrimo.net/day-twenty-three-8/

Prompt: write a short, sharp poem.

I wrote a limerick about the discomfort experienced from the heart rate monitor, apnea sensor, and pulse oximeter I had to wear for an in-home sleep study.

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-april-pad-challenge-day-23

Write a conspiracy poem.

My limerick closed with the line "a conspiracy to prevent sleeping."



Great music in this one, but the aesthetic appears to be all butt all the time. Hence the video gets pushed to the bottom of the post.

~Ornery Owl is Not Well-Rested~


Image by Dmitry Abramov from Pixabay
"Did you have to do the miserable sleep study too, Harry?"
"That was a sleep study? I thought it was a new form of torture devised by Voldemort."




Thursday, December 9, 2021

Cheeky History With Ornery Owl: Sympathy for Narcissus (WEP Challenge December 2021)

 

Narcissus, from a Pompeiian fresco

Tagline:
Greetings, Class. Fasten your seat belts! Professor Ornery Owl has a history lesson and a proposal for you. 

Genre: history, humor, politics

Cheeky History with Ornery Owl

Sympathy for Narcissus:

A Limerick Haibun Fusion Sandwich

 Tongue in Cheek Style

 

Narcissus got a bad rap

For being a stuck-up chap

He wasn’t malicious

Though he thought himself delicious

The poor guy was caught in a trap

 

There are variations on the myth of Narcissus, but the core story is as follows.

Narcissus was the son of the river god Cephissus and the nymph Liriope. When Narcissus was young, a seer named Tiresias told Liriope that Narcissus would live a long life as long as he never knew himself.

Narcissus grew up to be very handsome and had many admirers, but he was not interested in any of them. One day, after hunting, Narcissus lay beside a still pool of water. When he saw his own reflection, he fell deeply in love with himself. He tried to touch the figure in the water but could not. He was so enamored with his reflection that he would not leave the water's edge.

Fixating on his reflection to the exclusion of all else, Narcissus eventually succumbed to exhaustion and starvation. When the nymphs came to bury him, his body transformed into a beautiful white daffodil flower thereafter known as the Narcissus.

There are several variations on the Narcissus myth. The best-known variation was Metamorphoses, an epic poem written by Ovid. Metamorphoses explains the creation of various plants, animals, and natural phenomena through stories of transformation.

In Ovid’s poem, the nymph, Echo, told a story that was so long that Juno missed an opportunity to catch Jove while he flirted with the nymphs. Juno was angry with Echo, so she cursed the nymph to only repeat the words of others thenceforth.

One day in the woods, Echo saw Narcissus. She was captivated by his beauty and followed him. When Narcissus asked, "who is here?" Echo could only answer "here!"

Echo tried to embrace Narcissus, but he spurned her. Narcissus's rejection caused Echo to waste away until only her voice remained.

Narcissus stopped to rest by a clear pool of water, in which he beheld his reflection and was enchanted by its beauty. He sat staring at his reflection day and night, neither eating nor sleeping, eventually perishing from exhaustion and starvation. When the nymphs buried him, he transformed into a beautiful Narcissus flower.

In Pausanias' version of the story, Narcissus had a twin sister who looked exactly like him. He loved her very much. When she died, Narcissus found solace in looking at his reflection in the pond. This version of Narcissus does not fall in love with himself; instead, his reflection allows him to remember his sister.

The ancient Greek mythographer Konon's dark, homoerotic version of the myth of Narcissus takes place in the Greek city of Thespeia. In Konon's version, Narcissus scorns even Eros, the god of love himself.

A man named Ameinias falls deeply in love with Narcissus, but Narcissus spurns Ameinias and sends him a sword. Overcome with sorrow, Ameinias asks Eros to avenge him and commits suicide using the sword that Narcissus sent him.

Later, Narcissus falls in love with his own reflection in a pool of water. He becomes distraught because he is unable to touch the beautiful man that he sees in the pool. Eventually, Narcissus ends his own life, transforming into the lovely flower that now bears his name.

Free use image by John Hain on Pixabay

While the third version of Narcissus is arrogant and spiteful, the best-known version is self-absorbed but not malevolent. I feel that a more apt comparison than Narcissus for individuals such as Donald tRump is the infamous failed emperor Commodus, whose focus on his own glory touched off the downfall of Rome.

Commodus was the son of the highly regarded emperor Marcus Aurelius. After the death of his father, Commodus became increasingly dictatorial. Rather than acting as a leader, he focused on building a cult of personality by performing as a gladiator in rigged matches where he always came out the winner. He was assassinated in his bath on 31 December 192 by his personal trainer, a wrestler named Narcissus.

Roman statesman Dio Cassius described the reign of Commodus as marking the descent "from a kingdom of gold to one of iron and rust". When Donald tRump took office, he attempted to upend any programs created during the Obama era while building his cult of personality through continual campaigning.

Members of the Roman senate despised and feared Commodus, but his cult of personality thrived thanks to his showboating. Commodus was a megalomaniac, describing himself as having godlike prowess. Donald tRump described himself as “the chosen one” and a “very stable genius.”

Early in 192, Commodus, declared himself the new Romulus, renaming the city Colonia Lucia Annia Commodiana. All the months of the year were renamed to correspond with his twelve names: Lucius, Aelius, Aurelius, Commodus, Augustus, Herculeus, Romanus, Exsuperatorius, Amazonius, Invictus, Felix, and Pius. The legions were renamed Commodianae, the fleet which imported grain from Africa was termed Alexandria Commodiana Togata, the Senate was called the Commodian Fortunate Senate, his palace, and the Roman people themselves were given the name Commodianus, and the day on which these reforms were decreed was called Dies Commodianus.

Donald tRump jokingly said that he should be made pResident for life. Only he wasn’t joking.

In conclusion, while Narcissus may have been self-absorbed to his own detriment and the detriment of those who became enamored with him, his conceit did not have negative effects on an entire civilization. The conceit of Emperor Commodus was the beginning of the end for the Roman Empire. Commodus did not care about the Roman people, he cared about his own glory.

Therefore, I submit that the term narcissism is incorrectly applied to individuals such as Donald tRump. I believe that such megalomaniacs should be called Commodes to reflect the historical figure whose actions they mirror. Like them, commodes tend to be full of crap. 

  

Image by Craig Letourneau on Pixabay

https://pixabay.com/photos/daffodils-narcissus-nature-flower-455359/

 

narcissus heedless

learn nothing from growing pains

knowing only self

~cie~ 

978 words

I said I wouldn't do this again, but I'm giving it one more shot.

If you are capable of doing a proper critique rather than a tear-down, have at it. I'm not heavily invested in this piece. I wrote it as a lark.

Source: https://www.greekmythology.com/Myths/Mortals/Narcissus/narcissus.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commodus

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(mythology)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_(wrestler)

https://poetryofthenetherworld.blogspot.com/2020/10/narcissus.html

 Your Instructor



Ornery Owl
Free use image by Open Clipart Vectors



The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)



Creative Commons License


This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.

Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. Odysee’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on Odysee. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.

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Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.

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Sunday, November 28, 2021

The Mudlark

 

A beautiful black and white bird

Of which I had not previously heard

Something like a magpie

To the untrained eye

Some might find it a bit absurd

The mudlark looks like a magpie but is a member of the Monarchidae family while the magpie is a member of the Corvidae family.

52 words

~ornery owl~

 


Kind thanks to Sammi Cox for giving me a prompt with the perfect word count to be able to stick a fork in this year's NaNoHellMo project. That sucker is officially done! I will still complete the last two days of diary and poems, but there is no longer any pressure to make a specific word count. Halleluiah! 

The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)



Creative Commons License


This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.

Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. Odysee’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on Odysee. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.

Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.

Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.

Come check out Readers Roost, the online book store featuring works by indie and small press authors. Discover your next great read at the Roost!

Want more poetry?
Get it here!

Buy me a coffee

Or buy me a coffee here

Join me on Odysee

Join me on Patreon!
Subscribe for as little as $1 per month.

Get the latest literary happenings and slices of life in your inbox!

Saturday, April 3, 2021

Bad Heir Day

 



the miscreant heir who plays bass
engages in behavior most base
should he continue to err
then to his despair
from the will he will be erased
~cie~


Day 3: Write a communication poem.
This poem communicates...something.


The prompt was to make a deck of cards with words on them and choose one.
I didn't do that.

Never let it be said that I'm incapable of following directions.
I used all the homophones from this prompt.

The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)


Creative Commons License


This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.

Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. Odysee’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on Odysee. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.

Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.

Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.

Want more?
Get it here!

Join me on Odysee

Odysee is an open-source YouTube alternative where you earn LBC (a form of cryptocurrency) for viewing videos and documents. You can also share and sell your own work. Most of my work on Odysee is free, and I sell my full-length compilations and stories for half the Amazon price. A tip as small as 5 LBC (approximately $0.15) really helps support my efforts.


Saturday, March 27, 2021

Ornery Poetry: Helen MacGuffin

 

Helen of Troy by Evelyn De Morgan (1898, London); Helen admiringly displays a lock of her hair, as she gazes into a mirror decorated with the nude Aphrodite.


Consider, please, Helen of Troy

Whose mug spelled doom for thousands of boys

The lads perished for nuffin

Helen's face is a MacGuffin

That conjures neither pleasure nor joy

~cie~

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2021-april-pad-challenge-countdown-t-minus-5

Write a MacGuffin poem

Please note that I am not implying that Helen is a MacGuffin. She is a critically important character from Greek mythology. The "MacGuffin" is Helen's face, as referred to in the line "Was this the face that launched a thousand ships?" from Christopher Marlowe's poem.

From the Wikipedia entry on Helen of Troy

Helen appears in various versions of the Faust myth, including Christopher Marlowe's 1604 play The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus, in which Faustus famously marvels, "Was this the face that launched a thousand ships / And burnt the topless towers of Ilium?" upon seeing a demon impersonating Helen.[89] The line, which is frequently quoted out of context,[89][91] is a paraphrase of a statement from Lucian's Dialogues of the Dead.





In my quest for righteous participation in my favorite blog hops without sacrificing what little remains of my sanity, I am going to try sharing my poetry with Weekend Writing Warriors, at least while I am immersed in the process of formatting my overdue poetry volume. We'll see how this goes. 

The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)


Creative Commons License


This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.

Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. Odysee’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on Odysee. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.

Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.

Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.

Want more?
Get it here!

Join me on Odysee

Odysee is an open-source YouTube alternative where you earn LBC (a form of cryptocurrency) for viewing videos and documents. You can also share and sell your own work. Most of my work on Odysee is free, and I sell my full-length compilations and stories for half the Amazon price. A tip as small as 5 LBC (approximately $0.15) really helps support my efforts.