Showing posts with label cactus clem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cactus clem. Show all posts

Friday, April 12, 2024

April PAD Challenge + NaPoWriMo 2024 Day 12

Image by Fantasm from Pixabay

I was initially thinking that I wouldn't submit the poem I created today to Dragon Soul Press for their Soul Ink 2 anthology, but I changed my mind.


Today's April PAD Challenge prompt asks for a funny poem.


Today's NaPoWriMo prompt also leans toward the light-hearted, asking poets to write a poem that plays with the idea of a “tall tale.”

I wrote a story in limerick form detailing the origins of my friends Ghost Town Grover and Cactus Clem. While it may not make it into the Soul Ink 2 anthology, it will always have a place in my heart and on my blog.

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Image by Wolfgang Eckert from Pixabay

"So you wanna hear the story of Ghost Town Grover and Cactus Clem. Well, gather 'round, and I'll tell the tale of that dark and stormy night."


Ghost Town Grover
Free use image by Clker Free Vector Images

"Jest one small quibble, Ornery. The skies was clear that night, 'cept fer maybe a cloud or two, and it wasn't rainin', 'cept maybe fer a little drizzle. It was 114 years ago, so my memory's a little foggy."

Cactus Clem
Free use image from Open Clipart Vectors

"Is this gonna be a scary story, Ornery? 'Cause if it's a scary story, I need my lantern and my teddy bear and a big ole jug of Cuzzin Hildy-Bob and Virgil-Joe's premium moonshine."


Hangry Wyrm
Free use image from Clker Free Vector Images

"I've only got one question. Are snacks included with this story? 'Cause I'd like some popcorn and a big lemonade and some M and M's. Speaking of M and M's, I think your story will be more interesting if you let that guy Eminem rap while you tell it."





Saturday, May 9, 2020

Ornery Haiku: Super Flower Moon


through parted curtains
gold in partly cloudy sky
super flower moon

~cie~




Ghost Town Grover Sez:
"Back in my minin' days, I loved ter see a big ole golden moon in the sky whilst lazin' 'round a campfire enjoyin' a swig of whiskey or a few with the fellers. But the thing I loved to see most was a big ole golden nugget down in the mine!"


Cactus Clem Sez:
"One of my most favorite things in all the wide world is takin' a stroll on a spring night with the full moon shinin' down on the Lone Prairie. 'Specially if I got a big ole jug of White Lightnin' to swig on now and again."

The Inevitable Legalese and Other Blah-Blah

Content copyright 2020 by Cara Hartley

Please do not repost

Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it.

Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.

Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.

Cactus Clem and Ghost Town Grover are the intellectual property of Team Netherworld Creations and Naughty Netherworld Press. These characters are depicted with free use images from Pixabay.

This post is published on the following sites:








Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Mark's Train


I
I see the sun on your back, my steamy friend,
Mark said to the engine shiny and black
And this is why I will never go galloping
across Europe, or sleeping late on Saturday
for being with you is more fun than any game
I would rather ride the rails than sail the rivers

II
Some folks laughed at the way Mark talked to his engine
He certainly is a quirky old cuss, they said
He would spend all day and night with that train
And tell any human to go pick mushrooms
He thinks nobody else could ever do justice
To the work that he puts into that old engine

III
He looks at us like earthenware dogs when we
try to help him, the other crew members said
You can sharpen an axe on top of his head
The carrots are cooked, the controller said
Take yourself into your hands, it's a roll with butter
Mark gets the job done, so let him have his way

~cie~

And now for the notes:
Poem copyright 2020 by Cara Hartley
Do not repost. Reblogging with proper credit is acceptable on sites that allow for reblogging.
A link to the poem may be shared with proper credit
Quoted text may be shared for educational or review purposes with proper credit

NaPoWriMo: Write a poem based on foreign idioms
April PAD Challenge: Write a Quirk poem
Words for Wednesday list
The photograph also comes from the Words for Wednesday prompt.
  1. Justice,
  2. Mark,
  3. Game,
  4. Sleeping,
  5. Rivers,
  6. Human.
The idioms I incorporated came from this page. I will list them for you here. All idioms and their explanations come from said page.


The idiom: Сенің арқаңда күн көріп жүрмін

Literal translation: “I see the sun on your back.”
What it means: “Thank you for being you. I am alive because of your help.”

(Kazakh)


The idiom: Галопом по Европам

Literal translation: “Galloping across Europe.”
What it means: “To do something hastily, haphazardly.”

(Russian)


The idiom: Ej bekot.

Literal translation: “‘Go pick mushrooms,’ or, more specifically, ‘Go pick boletes!'”
What it means: “Go away and/or leave me alone.”

(Latvian)


The idiom: Se regarder en chiens de faïence.

Literal translation: “To look at each other like earthenware dogs.”
What it means: “Basically, to look at each other coldly, with distrust.” 

(French)


The idiom: Хоть кол на голове теши

Literal translation: “You can sharpen with an ax on top of this head.”
What it means: “He’s a very stubborn person.”

(Russian)


The idiom: Les carottes sont cuites!

Literal translation: “The carrots are cooked!”
What it means: “The situation can’t be changed.”
Other language connections: It’s a bit like the phrase, “It’s no use crying over spilt milk,” in English.

(French)


The idiom: брать/взять себя в руки

Literal translation: “To take oneself in one’s hands.”
What it means: “It means ‘to pull yourself together.’”
Other languages this idiom exists in: There is a German version of this idiom: “Sich zusammenreißen,” which translates literally as “to tear oneself together.” And in Polish, the same idea is expressed by the phrase, “we take ourselves into our fist (wziąć się w garść).” 

(Russian)


The idiom: Bułka z masłem.

Literal translation: “It’s a roll with butter.”
What it means: “It’s really easy.”

(Polish)

Cross-Posted to these sites:
Good Stuff from Grover (I'm pretty sure that Ghost Town Grover and Mark would get along just fine. They're both quirky old codgers.)





Ghost Town Grover sez:
"I git where Mark's comin' from. I wasn't never too comfortable with nobody borrowin' my pick-axe or my minin' cart or my mule neither."


Cactus Clem sez:
"Mark an' me have a lot in common. He's kinda prickly too."





Sunday, January 26, 2020

Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation: Troiku Hineri: At Dawn

Image by Johannes Plenio from Pixabay
These round hay bales are a common sight where I live

I
at dawn
I wash my feet with dew
the longest day

at dawn
the sun comes through the window
too bright to look at

I wash my feet with dew
perhaps I am still dreaming
I walk to the yard

the longest day
the too-warm sun of summer
I retreat indoors

II
at dawn
the sun comes through the window
too bright to look at

at dawn
much of the world awakens
though some hide away

the sun comes through the window
too bright to remain asleep
burning fiery orb

too bright to look at
I attempt to ignore it
I begin my day

III
I wash my feet with dew
perhaps I am still dreaming
I walk to the yard

I wash my feet with dew
before the sun burns it off
on grass blades still damp

perhaps I am still dreaming
I would be afraid to walk
unshod on this ground

I walk to the yard
trying to plan the future
what will I grow here?

IV
the longest day
the too-warm sun of summer
I retreat indoors

the longest day
I have many things to do
always stay busy

the too-warm sun of summer
makes me hide inside the house
sun scorching the earth

I retreat indoors
maybe when the evening falls
venture out again

~cie~







Visit the Artist


Ghost town Grover and Cactus Clem have a poem they want to share too.

A cactus man like Cactus Clem
Thinks the heat just can't be beat
He don't mind when it gets toasty
He even walks around in bare feet

A ghost like Ghost Town Grover
Tends to prefer the shade
He likes to sit underneath the old tree
Just sippin' lemonade


Visit the Ornery Poetry Blog

notes
The original Haiku for the Troiku Army was written by © Yozakura (1640-1716).

at dawn
I wash my feet with dew
the longest day

Monday, January 13, 2020

Carpe Diem New Beginnings: Ornery Senryu: First Sunray


first rays of sunshine
after working the night shift
felt like a vampire

~The Ornery Old Night Owl~



Image Copyright Open Clipart Vectors

Ornery Notes:
I haven't had to work the night shift in close to three years now. But I'm still a night owl!
The night shift was always fine for me until about three or four in the morning. The last three or four hours were horrible.



Ghost Town Grover Sez:
"I gotta tell y'all, on Halloween night in Telluride in 1880, I was whoopin' it up with some of the other miners, and when I went out behind the saloon to drain the ole rattlesnake, this pale feller with slick black hair wearin' a fancy cape come floatin' up beside me. I asked him if he wanted to come into the saloon and join me and the fellers fer a swig of Amos Fine's Famous Shine. 

That high-fallutin' feller said in a hoity-toity way that he didn't never drink Shine. Now, maybe he was jest eccentric or somethin', but when Father O'Malley come outta the saloon wearin' his big ole silver cross on a chain, that feller hissed like an angry tomcat, hollered "BLUH!", pulled his cape over his face, and turned tail and run. 

Maybe he'd bin slippin' outta the church after Sunday meetin's without tithin' proper, but there shore was somethin' weird about that fancy-pants stranger, and he shore didn't take a shine to the good Father and his shiny cross.


Cactus Clem Sez:
"Well, Grover, I bet y'all didn't know it, but Ornery actually is a vamper. I done heard her tellin' someone all about how she got hammered on cactus juice on Saint Patrick's Day in 1992 an' ended up sleepin' on someone's bathroom floor! She ain't tried to drink the juice from my veins yet, but I'm gonna have to sleep with one eye open on St. Patrick's Day!"


Further Ornery Notes:
Cactus Clem doesn't have anything to worry about. I really can't drink more than a few sips of beer or wine these days. But if you're feeling daring, you can click the link above and try the drink that the cute little buffalo is serving up!

Saturday, November 23, 2019

Carpe Diem Weekend Meditation #110: Bush Warbler

Bush Warbler

A spring warbler casts
A dropping on the rice cakes —
The veranda edge.
I feed rice cakes to the birds
The earth drinking up my tea.

~Cie~





Ghost Town Grover Sez:
"I shore don't blame you, Ornery. I wouldn't wanna drink no tea that a bird pooped in neither."


Cactus Clem sez:
"Say, Ornery, you know that sun tea you was brewin' on the front porch? Well, I was kinda thirsty after my stroll on the Lone Prairie, and I done drank it all down. I don't think it had no bird poop in it, though, 'cause it had a cover on it and everything.


Tuesday, November 19, 2019

Carpe Diem #1783: Eggplant


when the time has come
for planting a new garden
can I grow eggplant?

~Cie~




Ghost Town Grover Sez:
"Why the heck do they call it an egg-plant? It's a plant, but it ain't an egg, and it don't grow eggs or lay eggs neither!"


Cactus Clem Sez:
"Ornery, maybe y'all oughta put out a nest so's yer eggplant will have a nice place to lay its eggs. Or do ya think maybe we oughta build it a coop like fer chickens?"


Thursday, October 31, 2019

Carpe Diem #1773: Tanka: Bury Me on the Lone Prairie


when my time is done
I want my last breaths to be
on the lone prairie
not in a hospital room
I leave with the whistling wind

~Cie~


Notes:
You happier chappies are probably saying "ugh, there goes that gloomy old Cie with another gloomy poem." But I don't think this poem is gloomy. I think it's real.

I worked in long-term care for most of the 25 years that I was in the medical field. I think that people who work in this setting tend to become very adamant that we do not want to end up dying in a medicalized setting.

My father died in a hospice center. It was a peaceful place with a spacious, comfortable room. He was in constant pain and losing his capacity to think and remember things. It was much better than being in a hospital or nursing home. But for myself, I don't want my end to be even that medicalized. I want to look out the window and see my Lone Prairie before I rise up and walk away on the wind that constantly blows in these parts.




Ghost Town Grover Sez:
"Dagnabit, Ornery, ya morbid ole cuss! Ya done went and made Cactus Clem gloomy with all yer chatter about croakin'. Now, I know I'm a ghost, but I've been a ghost fer near to 110 years. We ghosts like to whoop it up on Halloween night, but I ain't gonna be doin' much whoopin' it up if I've gotta be tryin' to cheer Cactus Clem up. So, what the heck are you gonna do about it?"

Image by nancy sticke from Pixabay


Cactus Clem Sez:
"Aw, thanks Ornery! Them ghost puppies is jest the thing to cheer a feller!"

Sunday, October 20, 2019

OctPoWriMo 2019: Day 20: Haibun My Way: From the Mountains to the Prairie

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Image Source
You see a lot of these critters along the county roads leading to Grover. You have to be careful because sometimes they'll want to cross the road. Unfortunately, I see a fair number of them dead on the roadside. Hitting one would probably total my car, which is one reason I don't like to drive after dark on the Lone Prairie.

And now, on to our Haibun.


In the days of my youth, I loved to party. If anyone asked me to go out to a club, I’d immediately say “yes.” I loved to drink and dance.

I always dreamed of living in a glorious mansion, the sort of place that was the toast of the town.

I have always loved the mountains. For most of my life I lived near the mountains and could not imagine living anywhere else.

The prairie? “Well, how bland and boring is that?” I asked myself.

Except I never really found the prairie bland and boring. I was just repeating what I was supposed to think. Still, I could not imagine living in a place where I couldn’t see the mountains.

Then just this year, I discovered a place a hundred miles from where I’d lived for many years: a place way out on the prairie.

I no longer see the mountains every day, but I love what I see now just as much.

My dream home is in a place that I couldn’t have imagined, far from city nightlife, way out on the prairie. I wouldn’t want it to be anyplace else, and if you asked me to go clubbing these days, I’d look at you as if you had three heads because I can imagine few things I’d want to do less. I prefer to stay home and listen to the wind whistling through the prairie grass instead.

the whispering wind
billowing the prairie grass
sounds like home to me

~Cie~



Notes:



Ghost Town Grover Sez: 
"I liked this here High Bun. I ain't up to writin' no High Bun myself right now, but I got a poem fer y'all.

In the days of old when I mined fer gold
Life shore was excitin'
But these days I prefer an easier life
So the Lone Prairie is more invitin'



Cactus Clem sez:
"I like that Ornery writes poetry that's more rootin' tootin' than High Fallutin'. I ain't never fit in real well with them High Fallutin' folks myself. Which is okay, 'cause I think them high society parties is kinda boring anyways.

I don't like to go to parties
In the high society
'Cause it's a prickly problem
When them fancy folks stick to me

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Carpe Diem Little Creatures Freestyle: Butterfly Release


butterflies released
in memory of loved ones
one with thoughts of you

~Cie~


For my father
31 May 1936 - 28 November 2010


Notes:
The year after my father died, my son and I went to a butterfly releasing ceremony sponsored by one of the local hospices affiliated with the retirement community I was working in at the time. The butterflies have come out of their cocoons the previous night and are given to each participant in a small container. When the loved one's name is read, the butterfly is released. 

Butterflies do not have a very long lifespan. They live for about two weeks after they emerge.

My nickname as a child was "butterfly" because I loved them so much. When I was three years old, I wept inconsolably after finding a dead butterfly on a walk with my father. When we returned home, my grandmother (father's mother) had called. My mother handed me the phone to say hi to Grandma, and the only thing I said, or rather wailed to the poor woman was "poor butterfly!"

These days I'm pretty sure my nickname is either "asshole" or "resting bitch face," although Ghost Town Grover is polite about it and calls me Ornery, which is short for "the ornery old lady." In fairness, my bitch face never rests. My bitch face is on duty 24-7.



Ghost Town Grover sez: 
"I ain't sure about the bitch face part, but Ornery is purty restless. You kin find her workin' on somethin' at all hours of the day and night. It probably ain't housework, though. Ornery ain't real keen on them domestical tasks.


Cactus Clem Sez:
"Some folks is kinda scairt of Ornery. She's got a reputation fer bein' a mean cuss. Thing is, she's always been purty nice to me. I reckon if yer nice to her, she'll be nice to you, kinda like that Eminem feller says. That feller shore do have the spiciest language, though!


Image by HeavyMetalLover91 @ Deviantart



Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Carpe Diem #1756: Fly

Horsefly, aka Biting Buttmunch

get lost buzzing pest 
whether biting or buzzing
you are annoying

~Cie~


Notes:
It seems that Grover and Cactus Clem forgot to tell me about the metric crap-ton of flies that reside on the Lone Prairie. Would you fellows care to explain yourselves?



Ghost Town Grover sez: "I'm awful sorry about lyin' by omission about all the flies 'round these parts, Ornery, but Cactus Clem said that if you knew about 'em you might not wanna move here. So I done kept my mouth shut and didn't say nothing about the flies. By the way, how the heck much is a metric crap-ton? Is that like a wheelbarrow-full? 'Cause I probably hauled lots of metric crap-tons of dirt outta the mine back when I was prospectin' fer gold."


Cactus Clem sez: "Grover, do you think I oughta lie by omission about the thing that Beavis and Butthead done in the living room to try and git rid of them flies?"