30 Days of Haiga 2014: Day 13

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Original Image:

"Circuspeanut" by Dictouray at English Wikipedia - Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Circuspeanut.jpg#mediaviewer/File:Circuspeanut.jpg

Wikipedia Entry on The Horror of Circus Peanuts

Stomach-Churning Verse:

Tempest Nightingale LeTrope

Gruesome Photoshop Manipulation:

Cie Cheesemeister

Nervous Norvis' Café

Image Source

Ode to Nervous Norvis' Café

by

Trent Lane

Nervous Norvis has excellent taste

In coffee at his little place

Norvis’ caffeinated café

Will blow you away

Like a rocket heading for space

~Trent Lane~

S’up, Netherworld Caffeine addicts? I wanted to write this epic limerick to tell you about my boss, Nervous Norvis, ‘cause he’s totally rad.

Norvis is a thoroughly modern mummy. His pyramid sits right behind his café, cutting down on commute time. His backyard is just a few steps away, so he can take a quick break to tend to his little dog Pharaoh if the need arises.

Norvis sells only fair trade coffee, so you can feel good about catching your A.M. buzz. Or P.M. Whatever.

For unfortunate souls like The Cheesemeister who can’t drink caffeine, Norvis also has decaf. It doesn’t taste like frog piss, the way a lot of decaf does. Not that I actually, like, know what frog piss tastes like or anything. I just figure it probably tastes a lot like decaf coffee, you know.

So, like, what I’m saying is that even though work is a four letter word and stuff, working with Norvis actually doesn’t seem like work, so I don’t mind doing it. So come on down and let me make you a latte sometime. Or an espresso. Whatever.

Trent Lane

For

Encyclopedia Netherworld

A division of FOGNL/UNDEAD Media Services

And

Miskatonic University Netherworld

Cross-Posted to:

Encyclopedia Netherworld

Poetry of the Netherworld

Your rad reporter, working out a melody for my cool new lyrics

General Monger Pulls Rank

General Monger was proud of his rank

So he rolled into town in a tank

It really blew his mind

When he got a ticket and fine

For running down the ATM at the bank

~Tempest~

Rosy Sneezy Snowsy

 

Hi, I'm Rose, and this is my limerick about a rose and a nose and a woman.

 

A woman was holding a rose

A little too close to her nose

She sneezed, snuffled, and coughed

Made all the petals fall off

And drift to the ground like red snows

 

~Rose~

 

 

A to Z Blogging Challenge: L is for Limerick

A to Z Blogging Challenge:

L is for Limerick

by

Illsa Gorrey

A Limerick is a rhymed humorous or nonsense poem of five lines which originated in Limerick, Ireland. The Limerick has a set rhyme scheme of : a-a-b-b-a.

The subject matter of Limericks is often bawdy.

Here is my shot at a Limerick.

Once on a night that was icy

Walking was an act rather dicey

Down my back stair I did tumble

With a crash and a rumble

Incurring an E.R. bill that was pricey

Actually, I managed to avoid the E.R. bill as I didn't break anything. But I was bruised and sore for several weeks following the event!

~Illsa~

B is for Burlesque

B is for Burlesque

by

Gunnar Raven

A Burlesque poem does not necessarily incite people to take their clothes off. It is a poem utilizing ridiculous subject matter. Satire is a form of Burlesque.

A lot of people don't seem to understand Burlesque, which is why they'll never understand the flavor of Undead in the Netherworld. That's okay, though, we'll keep on doing what we do, regardless.

I'm tired, but let me see if I can serve you up some poetry.

Ode to the Netherworld

A highbrow, illustrious land is the World of Nether

Everyone there is so suave, and they dress up all in leather

They allow none in their club but the best of the best

If you don't meet the highest standards, then you're just "the rest."

If you're not the cream of the crop, then all shoulders turn to ice

If you aren't the properest of proper, the reception won't be nice

No weirdos, rejects or freaks will the Netherworld allow

You won't even get in the door unless you're the highest of highbrow

Everyone in the Netherworld is so sophisticated

If you're even second best, be prepared to be underrated

You must dress up every day in your finest of attire

They serve only brie and melba toast while angels play the lyre

If you're looking for a place that loves the oddballs and the freaks

Keep on looking, Loser, the Netherworld allows no geeks

Since you'll be rubbing shoulders with the finest of the fine

Be sure to bring lots of money so you can buy the finest wine

You thought that Heaven had high standards, well the Netherworld has higher

For the minorest of faux pas, you'll be thrown into the fire

It's a green and pleasant land, except nothing's green or pleasant

If your blood isn't the bluest blue, you'll be treated like a peasant

And now I've told my story about this terrible place

If you even look like riff or raff, you'll be thrown out on your face

The Netherworld's the kind of place where no-one can have fun

I'm such an awful liar, t'is time for me to cut and run

~Gunnar~

This poem lives up to the Burlesque style, as it flies in the face of facts that have been previously established. In our mythology, the Netherworld is actually a very accepting place and is home to all variety of rejects from all over the Multiverses.

Please visit Undead in the Netherworld and enjoy prose in the Burlesque tradition as well. It's irreverent, it's ridiculous, and it's just how we like it!

Ronnie Baker's Easter Woe

Image found here.

 

A fellow who liked to bake bread

Was filled with despair in his head

Too many orders he took

Without enough ovens to cook

All the Easter treats for customers live and Undead

 

~Aurora~

 

The Divine Devil

The Divine Devil

Eggs that are deviled

I could consume by the dozen

Don’t need no toast or jam

Just eat ‘em and love ‘em

If you leave out a plate

Stacked with eggs that’re deviled

In fifteen minutes or less

The stack will be leveled

Love ‘em and leave ‘em?

Dude, not a chance

Chowing down on deviled eggs

Is better than romance

If you’re throwing a party

Best have a few eats

If you’ve got deviled eggs

You’ve got the best treats

Deviled eggs, you see

Are sophisticated and stylin’

But I don’t care about that

The taste leaves me smilin’

~Faye~