B is for Burlesque
by
Gunnar Raven
A Burlesque poem does not necessarily incite people to take their clothes off. It is a poem utilizing ridiculous subject matter. Satire is a form of Burlesque.
A lot of people don't seem to understand Burlesque, which is why they'll never understand the flavor of Undead in the Netherworld. That's okay, though, we'll keep on doing what we do, regardless.
I'm tired, but let me see if I can serve you up some poetry.
Ode to the Netherworld
A highbrow, illustrious land is the World of Nether
Everyone there is so suave, and they dress up all in leather
They allow none in their club but the best of the best
If you don't meet the highest standards, then you're just "the rest."
If you're not the cream of the crop, then all shoulders turn to ice
If you aren't the properest of proper, the reception won't be nice
No weirdos, rejects or freaks will the Netherworld allow
You won't even get in the door unless you're the highest of highbrow
Everyone in the Netherworld is so sophisticated
If you're even second best, be prepared to be underrated
You must dress up every day in your finest of attire
They serve only brie and melba toast while angels play the lyre
If you're looking for a place that loves the oddballs and the freaks
Keep on looking, Loser, the Netherworld allows no geeks
Since you'll be rubbing shoulders with the finest of the fine
Be sure to bring lots of money so you can buy the finest wine
You thought that Heaven had high standards, well the Netherworld has higher
For the minorest of faux pas, you'll be thrown into the fire
It's a green and pleasant land, except nothing's green or pleasant
If your blood isn't the bluest blue, you'll be treated like a peasant
And now I've told my story about this terrible place
If you even look like riff or raff, you'll be thrown out on your face
The Netherworld's the kind of place where no-one can have fun
I'm such an awful liar, t'is time for me to cut and run
~Gunnar~
This poem lives up to the Burlesque style, as it flies in the face of facts that have been previously established. In our mythology, the Netherworld is actually a very accepting place and is home to all variety of rejects from all over the Multiverses.
Please visit Undead in the Netherworld and enjoy prose in the Burlesque tradition as well. It's irreverent, it's ridiculous, and it's just how we like it!
