Hello everyone! I thought some of you might get a laugh off this turly offering of Vogon poetry. The VILE (Vogon Intergalactic Lyrical Establishment) Awards are in full swing over at the
Rattling Bones Undead Musician Magazine. This chap is one of their people's finest poets.
I also wanted to inform everyone that we are working to reply to all your lovely comments! We're a bit behind. We're currently working on the sixth day of OctPoWriMo. I assure you that we have no intent of ignoring you, and one of us will be by to say hello.
Now, if only I could get the Doctor to show up in his TARDIS, I could get caught up yesterday!
~Helena~
Celebrated Vogon poet Zephfrous Lobotomay
VILE Awards 2015:
Steaming Piles of Poetry
by
Filthy Fred
THIS IS A SANITY-SCARRING MULTIVERSE MASHUP, NETHERWORLD STYLE
SIDEBAR RULES APPLY
IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE RULES, DON'T READ THE POST
Prompt Used:
"Fellow Vogons and fnoq guests, it is time for our illustrious poetry showcase!" harrumphed Judge Ugry Surly. "Fortunately, our cufly reading does not appear to be sullied by the presence of any member of the lurak Young family. I despise them with every fiber of my ejnut. They make me want to upchuck my eory. In any case, we have with us our esteemed poet laureate Zephfrous Lobotomay to read for you his steamy sonnet, Hot Ruven. Join us now for some Astronomical Sizzle that will excite even the most muted of hiljwe."
Zephfrous Lobotomay approached the platform, cleared his throat, and spoke.
1. He turned me over and englobe afar.
2. He grabs one lira and I aglow aware.
3. She Apso cowed cautiously.
4. Now I am going to cow the sulfa oxide you.
5. I will take you by your boys now.
6. I slipped my hand under soil and his/her woods spasms.
7. In the shower she let me nosh her bow.
8. She grabbed his cow, and yanked and pulled until he
vow now.
I'm not sure about anyone else, but my Hiljwe was still pretty muted after hearing that. Also, I get the distinct feeling that Judge Surly is not in the pro Young brothers camp. I overheard him saying something about wanting to remove their qutubs and feed them to ghiks. Maybe I'm misinterpreting things somehow, but to me that doesn't sound like he's exactly feeling the Young Zeal.
Filthy Fred
for
Rattling Bones Undead Musician Magazine
a division of
FOGNL/UNDEAD Entertainment
The feelings of the Vogon Empire are mixed regarding these fellows
"Angus Young can be compared to the need for a subcutaneous injection of pix when one is experiencing the pax pox. He is a threat to the Splunge, doubly so when paired with his brother, whom I consider comparable to the bad taste left in one's mouth when licking the adhesive on uflon envelopes. It is an acceptable tradeoff for knowing that one's important paper documents are sealed in the most jiq envelopes in the Universe. However, in spite of his particular btab qualities and the threat he poses to the Splunge, Malcolm Young is indeed a hero of the Vogon Empire, and if we are to honor his contributions, we must accept the fact that his autonomously functioning conjoined soul twin cannot be far behind."
Other citizens of the Vogon Empire feel that regardless of the fact that Malcolm saved the Vogon Empire's flagship with his quick thinking and sharp wit, he is too great a threat to the mysterious and inexplicable quality of Splunge to be allowed aboard said flagship again, and becomes infinitely more of a threat when his brother is present. Besides, as Tuns Tumuch said after capturing Malcolm in a Soul Stripper spider web last year and forcing him to listen to multiple verses from the
Grimoire of Yopsog, the sentiment of certain vogons regarding said accidental hero is "I just don't like you."
We are left with the question of whether the nefarious plot of Judge Ugry Surly and the anti-Young faction will succeed in eradicating the ingenuous musical pair to the farthest reaches of the time-space continuum, or if the "hideously adorable in their own iqueous way" duo will find a way to negate the unsavory plot of General Mondegreen should they cross paths with him. It remains to be seen!
Personally, I'm rooting for the hideously adorable twosome. As my pal
Kizz Myass says "I loike dose wee dudes. They're totally deadly."
Harry Sakks
for
Rattling Bones Undead Musician Magazine
a division of
FOGNL/UNDEAD Entertainment
