Axe Man
2014 VILE Award Winners Iggy Azalea and Jennifer Lopez
Big Axe
Big, big axe, he got such a big axe
Big, big axe, he really lays down the trax
Big, big axe, boy you got a big axe
Big, big axe, what you
(He's such a stud)
Big, big axe, ooh you got a big axe (My baby, uh)
You're brutal
I mean you're hardcore
You're sexy
But most of all
You are just absolutely Axe-A-Licious
Have you seen him
On the stage
He got the boom, wreck the room
That's the lightning and the thunder
You wanna do him
You wanna bang him
See the light glint off his blade
And it starts to make you hunger
All the sexy girls at the show
Go and grab a piece of Axe, bring him to the dance floor
Go on let that black codpiece touch you while you're grinding
It's his birthday, give him what he ask for
(Let me show you how to do it)
Big, big axe, what you got a big axe (work)
Big, big axe, boy you got a big axe (swing that)
Big, big axe, you got such a big axe (go work)
Big, big axe, what you
The way he tears apart the stadium
I know you want him
He light the fire, burn it down
That's the lightning and the thunder
You wanna do him
You gotta have him
Hold on tight for the ride
'Cause you know you wanna get down
All the sexy girls in the party
Go and grab a piece of Axe, bring him to the dance floor
Go on let his black codpiece touch you while you're grinding
It's his birthday, give him what he ask for
(Let me show you how to do it)
Big, big axe, you got such a big tool (work)
Big, big axe, I wanna be your fool (swing that)
Big, big axe, boy you gotta big axe (go work)
Big, big axe, you can lay down the trax
Axe, Axe, Axe, Axe, swinging everywhere
Look at his axe, but don't take too long to stare
Or you might end up chopped
The way he swing that thing
He got a tool so big and long
And if you do it better do it dirty all night long
Axe is on track to bring the house down
And you can hear the sound all through the town
I wanna take that big 'ol bruiser shopping at the mall
Buy him a new codpiece and get him in my car
Axe is the number one most brutal metal star
Vogon Idol Winner, now give me that
Mesmerized by the size of his tool
You can't fight it cause you'll get struck down
I can guarantee you'll dig the brutal attack
Throw up your hands if you love a big axe
Big big big big big big axe, what you
Big big big big big big axe, what you
Big big big big big big, big big big
(Let me show you how to do it)
(Work)
(Swing that)
(Go to work)
Big, big axe, what you got a big axe
Big, big axe, boy you lay down the trax
Big, big axe, I want your big tool
Big, big axe, Axe Man I'm your fool (swing that)
Oxy Moron
With Jenny from the Block
and
Big Booty Queen Iggy
WARNING: (Funny) NSFW PHOTO FOLLOWS!
Notes:
Hi! I'm Oxy Moron, famous Netherworld jester. Today's prompt inspired 2014 VILE Award Winners Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea to ask me to help them write this ode to Axe Man for the good time he showed them in honor of their win.
I was so proud of our work that I decided to ask some of the Netherworld's most respected musicians what they thought. Here are their reactions.
Ugh! I should know better than to ask that crabby curmudgeon anything. Let's see what his band mate thinks.
I'm not quite sure how to interpret that. Did he like it, or is he plotting my demise? Let's see what Malcolm's brother thinks.
Well, um...he kind of got back to the spirit of the original song. I guess that was his intent. Or something. You never know with these guys.
For the Daring:
Here are the original lyrics
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty
Big, big booty, what you
(Ain't that a freak)
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (My baby, uh)
You're gorgeous
I mean you're fine
You're sexy
But most of all
You are just absolutely booty-full
Have you seen her
On the dance floor
She got the boom, shake the room
That's the lightning and the thunder
You wanna meet her
You wanna touch her
See the light in her eyes
And it starts to make you wonder
All the sexy girls in the party
Go and grab a man, bring him to the dance floor
Go on let them jeans touch you while you're dancing
It's his birthday, give him what he ask for
(Let me show you how to do it)
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (work)
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (shake that)
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (go work)
Big, big booty, what you
The way she moves
I know you want her
She light the fire, get you right
That's the lightning and the thunder
You wanna meet her
You gotta touch her
Hold on tight for the ride
'Cause you know you wanna love her
All the sexy girls in the party
Go and grab a man, bring him to the dance floor
Go on let them jeans touch you while you're dancing
It's his birthday, give him what he ask for
(Let me show you how to do it)
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (work)
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (shake that)
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (go work)
Big, big booty, what you a big booty
Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty everywhere
Look at her booty, stop, stare
They love that booty, hell yeah
The way she twerk it, not fair
She got a booty, that'll swallow a thong
And if you do it better do it dirty all night long
Booty, toot it, boot it, you know the plan
So much booty, she could supply the demand
I wanna take that big 'ol booty shopping at the mall
I wanna pick it up and put that booty in my car
Baby your booty is a movie star
Oscar award winner of them all, now give me that
Mesmerized by the size of it
You can fight it if you like take your time
I can guarantee you'll have the time of your life
Throw up your hands if you love a big booty
Big big big big big big booty, what you
Big big big big big big booty, what you
Big big big big big big, big big big
(Let me show you how to do it)
(Work)
(Shake that)
(Go to work)
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (shake that)
For the truly daring or otherwise masochistic:
Here is the video
The Prompt:
Our prompt today (optional, as always), will hopefully provide you with a bit of Friday fun. Today, I challenge you to write a parody or satire based on a famous poem. It can be long or short, rhymed or not. But take a favorite (or unfavorite) poem of the past, and see if you can’t re-write it on humorous, mocking, or sharp-witted lines. You can use your poem to make fun of the original (in the vein of a parody), or turn the form and manner of the original into a vehicle for making points about something else (more of a satire – though the dividing lines get rather confused and thin at times).
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