NaPoWriMo 2015: Day 24: Big Axe

Axe Man

2014 VILE Award Winners Iggy Azalea and Jennifer Lopez

Big Axe

Big, big axe, he got such a big axe

Big, big axe, he really lays down the trax

Big, big axe, boy you got a big axe

Big, big axe, what you

(He's such a stud)

Big, big axe, ooh you got a big axe (My baby, uh)

You're brutal

I mean you're hardcore

You're sexy

But most of all

You are just absolutely Axe-A-Licious

Have you seen him

On the stage

He got the boom, wreck the room

That's the lightning and the thunder

You wanna do him

You wanna bang him

See the light glint off his blade

And it starts to make you hunger

All the sexy girls at the show

Go and grab a piece of Axe, bring him to the dance floor

Go on let that black codpiece touch you while you're grinding

It's his birthday, give him what he ask for

(Let me show you how to do it)

Big, big axe, what you got a big axe (work)

Big, big axe, boy you got a big axe (swing that)

Big, big axe, you got such a big axe (go work)

Big, big axe, what you

The way he tears apart the stadium

I know you want him

He light the fire, burn it down

That's the lightning and the thunder

You wanna do him

You gotta have him

Hold on tight for the ride

'Cause you know you wanna get down

All the sexy girls in the party

Go and grab a piece of Axe, bring him to the dance floor

Go on let his black codpiece touch you while you're grinding

It's his birthday, give him what he ask for

(Let me show you how to do it)

Big, big axe, you got such a big tool (work)

Big, big axe, I wanna be your fool (swing that)

Big, big axe, boy you gotta big axe (go work)

Big, big axe, you can lay down the trax

Axe, Axe, Axe, Axe, swinging everywhere

Look at his axe, but don't take too long to stare

Or you might end up chopped

The way he swing that thing

He got a tool so big and long

And if you do it better do it dirty all night long

Axe is on track to bring the house down

And you can hear the sound all through the town

I wanna take that big 'ol bruiser shopping at the mall

Buy him a new codpiece and get him in my car

Axe is the number one most brutal metal star

Vogon Idol Winner, now give me that

Mesmerized by the size of his tool

You can't fight it cause you'll get struck down

I can guarantee you'll dig the brutal attack

Throw up your hands if you love a big axe

Big big big big big big axe, what you

Big big big big big big axe, what you

Big big big big big big, big big big

(Let me show you how to do it)

(Work)

(Swing that)

(Go to work)

Big, big axe, what you got a big axe

Big, big axe, boy you lay down the trax

Big, big axe, I want your big tool

Big, big axe, Axe Man I'm your fool (swing that)

Oxy Moron

With Jenny from the Block

and

Big Booty Queen Iggy

WARNING: (Funny) NSFW PHOTO FOLLOWS!

Notes:

Hi! I'm Oxy Moron, famous Netherworld jester. Today's prompt inspired 2014 VILE Award Winners Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea to ask me to help them write this ode to Axe Man for the good time he showed them in honor of their win.

I was so proud of our work that I decided to ask some of the Netherworld's most respected musicians what they thought. Here are their reactions.

Ugh! I should know better than to ask that crabby curmudgeon anything. Let's see what his band mate thinks.

I'm not quite sure how to interpret that. Did he like it, or is he plotting my demise? Let's see what Malcolm's brother thinks.

Well, um...he kind of got back to the spirit of the original song. I guess that was his intent. Or something. You never know with these guys.

For the Daring:

Here are the original lyrics

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty

Big, big booty, what you

(Ain't that a freak)

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (My baby, uh)

You're gorgeous

I mean you're fine

You're sexy

But most of all

You are just absolutely booty-full

Have you seen her

On the dance floor

She got the boom, shake the room

That's the lightning and the thunder

You wanna meet her

You wanna touch her

See the light in her eyes

And it starts to make you wonder

All the sexy girls in the party

Go and grab a man, bring him to the dance floor

Go on let them jeans touch you while you're dancing

It's his birthday, give him what he ask for

(Let me show you how to do it)

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (work)

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (shake that)

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (go work)

Big, big booty, what you

The way she moves

I know you want her

She light the fire, get you right

That's the lightning and the thunder

You wanna meet her

You gotta touch her

Hold on tight for the ride

'Cause you know you wanna love her

All the sexy girls in the party

Go and grab a man, bring him to the dance floor

Go on let them jeans touch you while you're dancing

It's his birthday, give him what he ask for

(Let me show you how to do it)

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (work)

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (shake that)

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (go work)

Big, big booty, what you a big booty

Booty, booty, booty, booty, booty everywhere

Look at her booty, stop, stare

They love that booty, hell yeah

The way she twerk it, not fair

She got a booty, that'll swallow a thong

And if you do it better do it dirty all night long

Booty, toot it, boot it, you know the plan

So much booty, she could supply the demand

I wanna take that big 'ol booty shopping at the mall

I wanna pick it up and put that booty in my car

Baby your booty is a movie star

Oscar award winner of them all, now give me that

Mesmerized by the size of it

You can fight it if you like take your time

I can guarantee you'll have the time of your life

Throw up your hands if you love a big booty

Big big big big big big booty, what you

Big big big big big big booty, what you

Big big big big big big, big big big

(Let me show you how to do it)

(Work)

(Shake that)

(Go to work)

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (shake that)

For the truly daring or otherwise masochistic:

Here is the video

The Prompt:

Our prompt today (optional, as always), will hopefully provide you with a bit of Friday fun. Today, I challenge you to write a parody or satire based on a famous poem. It can be long or short, rhymed or not. But take a favorite (or unfavorite) poem of the past, and see if you can’t re-write it on humorous, mocking, or sharp-witted lines. You can use your poem to make fun of the original (in the vein of a parody), or turn the form and manner of the original into a vehicle for making points about something else (more of a satire – though the dividing lines get rather confused and thin at times).