There are those who proclaim that I should be grateful
For my opportunity to star in the theatre of pain
But I can’t help being cynical about praising a situation
That has left me wishing I could succumb to the inevitable
More than once I wanted to retreat to home sweet home, but
I had nowhere to go
You better hasten your hustle, unwanted ugly girl with no
rhythm in her shoes
Keep your eye on the money, spread your velvet wings, and
make your heartbeat rustle
You’ve gotta be louder than hell if you hope to make anyone
listen
Use it or lose it before the creases in your face increase
Raise your hands to rock and fight for your rights
Before the sun rises on the day when a burst blood vessel in
your brain paralyzes your body
I used to try so hard to show that I could become one of the
Beautiful People
Begging the ones who rejected me to love me now that I can dance
Memorize these quotes to consider and maybe we’ll take a
second look
I felt like my identity was stolen by those who never had
time
To do anything but look down their noses at me
It never occurred to any of you that those of us who were
smoking in the boys’ room
Were trying in our own outcast way to save our souls
Your way didn’t work to ease our pain
I took too many ill-advised lovers in a vain attempt to
quell the ache of loneliness
In the end, I ran out of money, and my city girl blues got
the best of me
Now I try to ease the pain under vast prairie skies
Where I still am not accepted as I am
Where I have people praying for my broken body to
miraculously heal
So I can become the right kind of pretty to please their
gaze
So I can become a devout Stepford wife, happy to serve
So I can be anything but the wretched thing that is me
Why don’t you just let me be?
I wish that I could truly say
You ain’t got a hold on me
369 Words
Ornery Fucking Owl is done with everyone's shyyyyyyt
Free use image from Pixabay
prompts and acknowledgements
Prompt: Quotes to Consider
Prompt: Do You Love Me (Now That I Can Dance)
Prompt: Today's prompt asked poets to do a remix of their own poems written throughout November. I will do that on December 1. This poem incorporates the titles of all the songs from Mötley Crüe's 1985 Theatre of Pain album.
Prompt: Stolen Identity
Acknowledgements
Theatre of Pain is a 1985 album by Mötley Crüe.
Theatre of Pain is also the name of a song by German power metal band Blind Guardian, appearing on their 1992 album Somewhere Far Beyond.
You Ain't Got a Hold on Me is a song by AC/DC, initially appearing on the band's 1975 album High Voltage, which was only released in Australia. This album is not to be confused with the 1976 High Voltage album, which was released worldwide and had a different track list. You Ain't Got A Hold On Me was later released on the band's 1984 album '74 Jailbreak.
Do You Love Me (Now That I Can Dance) is a song written by Berry Gordy and performed by The Contours, appearing on their 1962 album of the same name.
videos
Here is the horror of me reading my poem. I would request that if you can't say something at least reasonably polite then keep your gob shut and your hands off the keyboard. I am going way out of my comfort zone sharing this because I really dislike both my voice and my physical appearance. However, when I read the poem aloud, I appreciated the power of my anger and I felt like my raw emotions should be recorded along with my words.
Here is a link to the video in case you can't see it.
Here is the funky Krautrock that I was listening to when I created this poem.
Here is the link in case you can't see the video.
The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)
Creative Commons License
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This is an honest write of how one wants to live his/her life.
ReplyDeleteHowever, this world will always have those idols/influencers telling you how to dress, what's the right face, and how to shake your hips.
and if i am not like them, so what?
Your delivery added an extra bite to your work. And I have a soft spot for anything that bites back at a larger culture that demands we must move in a certain way through this world to be acceptable. Powerful piece.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I liked Motely Crue back in the day too. One of my closest friends is a die-hard Ratt fan. She sees them any time they play in a 2 hour radius of her, and I often tag along when my schedule permits.
Powerfully written! I'm glad also to have heard you speak it; thanks for being brave enough to put it out there. I like your voice and also your facial expression (wise and wryly humorous, I thought – like your writing) and I quickly got used to the rosy skin.
ReplyDeleteInteresting to learn that you used a number of song titles in the composition; I wouldn't have picked that up. Clever of you! (Incidentally, our limit of 369 words at P&SU applies only to prose pieces – but it's also pretty clever of you to have made this poem exactly 369 words.)
It is always difficult to live up to others expectations.
ReplyDeleteThen in supposed confidence they tell others that you'll never succeed anyway. I've spent a good part of my own life tell others to jump away if they don't like what they see. If they want to judge 'this' book by its cover - it will be their loss!
There is such intensity in this one. The lines feel like screams shaking their fists, and with reason. We should all be allowed to be who we need to be. Society is not a giving friend, when it comes to letting us fly free... Hopefully, we can find a way to be more generous to ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI feel myself in this. I was the girl who didn't quite fit in when I was younger. Took me awhile to realize I didn't want to. I loved your reading.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you could use all the titles. I am not familiar with any but you did a good job. I didn't know there were titles until I read your note.
ReplyDeleteI did stop and do a Flash Back to my high school days when I got caught by our class bully when I was "smoking in the boys’ room." He beat me up really bad. In my memory that still hurts.
Your poem is so very down, I lack the word, but one word that could tell, it makes me believe, feel sad, and wishing I could help at most every verse. So I'll say seriously from my heart, Bless You (Cee?).
..
I am a survivor of the outcast, downcast, and overall last to be picked for the team.
ReplyDeleteThis brought back those memories tucked away and the more recent ones that still burn when touched.
You said you tried so hard to be one of the Beautiful People...A beautiful person is genuinely good kind humble and generous.Handsome is as handsome does as my Gran used to say.
ReplyDeleteWell Miss not at all ordinary owl
ReplyDeleteI watched a bit of your video ( bad connection here kept on stopping)but enough to see
1. your intelligence shines through your countenance
2 you have beautiful eyes
3.You have no blemishes or wrinkles on your skin
4. I dont know why or who has brain washed you into thinking
you are ugly...just keep away from them
5. I think you would attract those who value intelligence a fun personality and a good person with lovely eyes.
Message from my Granny
( stop this nonsense immediately)