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Inspired by the two songs that appear at the end of the post: Rainbow Eyes and Carnival of Rust.
I was feeling deeply melancholy when I created this. It's that time of year when I have to prove I'm worthy to continue receiving Medicaid. I owe the IRS close to $600, and for me, that's a fortune. My son and I went to the food bank today. My nights have been rife with sleep paralysis and horrific dreams.
With my broken body, mind, and soul, I feel like an abject failure. I try to convince myself that I'm doing the best I can and it's okay, but sometimes I just can't. My "best" doesn't seem to be a fraction as good as other people's worst.
I felt strong suicide ideation today.
I wonder how much of it is me and how much of it is me wondering "how does the world think it's okay to let people become this broken, or worse?"
The carnival prompt reminded me of certain moments in my youth when I allowed myself to believe that my life was going to be wonderful. I became giddy and drunk on those daydreams. Sometimes I wish I'd never had them. They allowed me to believe that I was better than I was.
The carnival is a metaphor for the glamour that we are convinced we should pursue. Celebrity worship is like drinking poisoned champagne. It tastes good and it gets you high, and then it leaves you with a rotten headache and reeking of vomit.
Truth be told, I don't need poison in my champagne for it to have that effect. Best that I stick to club soda with lime.
I've been trying to just let my poetry do the talking, but I felt the need to throw in a note today. I've started to realize that the middle of the month sucks for me.
This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.
Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. Odysee’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on Odysee. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.
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Worditude: COUNTRY SUMMER: Writers' Pantry #87 Summer is winding down in my world. I've written an homage to country summers as I recall them. I really thi...
An inert dryad clinging to an autumn leaf describes my attitude of this summer very well. I'm glad cooler weather is setting in. We have serious drought conditions where I live. It hardly rained all summer.
This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.
Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. Odysee’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on Odysee. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.
Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.
Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.
This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.
Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. Odysee’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on Odysee. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.
Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.
Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.
This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.
Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. Odysee’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on Odysee. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.
Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.
Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.
This work is the intellectual property of Naughty Netherworld Press/Poetry of the Netherworld.
Reblogging is acceptable on platforms that allow it. Odysee’s reblog function is called repost, which makes things confusing since reposting is considered a no-no on most platforms. It’s fine to share the post using the repost function on Odysee. It is not okay to copy-paste the material into a new post.
Sharing a link to the post is acceptable.
Quoting portions of the post for educational or review purposes is acceptable if proper credit is given.
