"Adapt or die, foolish little fool!" the intimidating alien rumbled.
I, however, refused to be shaken, no matter how he grumbled.
"Hah!" I snorted. "For something so impressive in appearance, you certainly lack cleverness.
"Anyone can see that I am far from little.
"My ass is large, and so is my middle."
"Yes, and you've had to find the key to adapting to such undesired conditions, haven't you?" the being inquired pensively.
"Your luck has not been exactly stellar, wouldn't you agree?
"What you found when you were transported over the rainbow was not what you hoped to see.
"When you shuffled off to the pier to see if your sacred ship had come in,
"Mawkish mediums informed you that your destiny was arriving at the airport too far in the distance for you to find redemption."
"Indeed, and when I asked them to elaborate, they promised to do so for a small fee equal to several of my paychecks," I replied. "I had a suspicion that they might have lied, so I decided I didn't care a shingle for their advice and proceeded to do things my way from that day forward."
"And how is that working out for you?" the alien, who now suspiciously resembled Dr. Phil, pressed.
"Probably better than the flashy fairy tale I once believed was my destiny," I sentimentally surmised, as glimmers of dreams of what might have been glittered in my eyes, overflowing down my face. "I'm pleased that I'm not surrounded by fake people to annoy me, but there have been times in my life when loneliness threatened to destroy me.
"I've discovered first-hand that no one cares how the disabled, elderly, and downtrodden fare.
"If you aren't young and you aren't pretty, nobody wants to see you anywhere.
"The liberal elite as much as the rigid right would prefer that the likes of me die and decrease the surplus population.
"Society cares only about the up-and-coming, not those nearing their destination.
"Age bias is rampant, the outsides given more weight than what lies within.
"If I were at all religious, I'd say it's a goddamn sin.
"Being a caustic agnostic, I'll just say it's a crying shame.
"Every year I hope for improvement, and every year it's always the same."
"Yet still you keep on kicking," the alien said, impressed. "I hope to meet more folk like you in my travels--ugly, angry, disabled, fat old women are the best!"
As the alien took off in his spaceship, I couldn't help but grin.
If we'd care more about what's on the inside, a better world could begin.
~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~
Word List
key
rainbow
distant/distance
shuffle
transport/ed
shingle
redemption
pier
mediums
sacred
elaborate
suspicion
also sharing with
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