Background image by Pobble 365
Text art by Ornery Owl (Cara Hartley)
Prompt Used
Notes
One of the ugliest, most hateful things that people can say about those who commit suicide is that they are "selfish" and "weren't thinking of the people they'd leave behind to clean up their mess." This awful "truism" simply isn't true. Those who commit suicide have reached a point of despair that they can't see a way around.
Those who have never reached this point have no business talking about what those who have reached it are feeling or who they are thinking of. I don't have any on-location friends and I doubt my absence would create any serious unhappiness for my online friends.
If I'm truthful, my online acquaintances would probably appreciate it if I fucked off. I generally feel that people are putting up with me rather than that they like me.
I often feel that my family would be better off without me. However, I still serve some useful functions, such as half-assed chef, dishwasher, and Uber for the household. When I'm no longer fit for purpose, it's probably just as well that I punch my ticket and save everyone a lot of hassle.
I've always been psychologically fragile and now I'm not worth a gnat's fart in a category 5 hurricane physically. I am in constant low-grade to moderate pain. I was in constant severe pain for about two months and if I wore hats, my hat would be off to those who live with severe chronic pain. If I had to do it much longer, I probably would have sold myself the farm and plowed myself under.
Those who don't live with chronic pain don't understand that even low-grade chronic pain is exhausting. I've gotten rid of all the people who complained that I never had any energy. They are now decomposing in my locker.
Seriously, I just don't interact with these people anymore. People take things too literally these days, so I feel I need to clearly state that I have never killed anybody. Over the course of 56 years, I've imagined sending many people in a rocket ship to the sun, but I would be a failure as a murderer. I'm a poor liar with a severe guilty conscience. I would be caught immediately.
I watched a re-enactment of The Picture of Dorian Gray on Amazon last night. Sometimes I think that a Portrait of Pain-Free Cie would be nice. However, I wouldn't want it to be a portrait of young me. Forget the "beautiful" part, because I have never been beautiful.
I would want my portrait to be of Middle-Aged Curmudgeon me. My portrait's resting bitch face would never rest. It would do me proud.
~Ornery Owl Has Ruminated~
A Portrait of Ornery Owl
Free-use image by Gordon Johnson on Pixabay
The Icky, Sticky, Nit-Picky Legalese If You Please (Or Don't Please)
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