November PAD Challenge 2022: Day 15: Dawn Thoughts

Dawn Thoughts 2

See notes for image information

I once despised dawn

today I am glad of it

opportunity

new thoughts I can imagine

old pain I can put to rest

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Image by Frauke Riether from Pixabay

notes and prompts

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-13

Told ya I was gonna keep on truckin' with the ekphrastic poems! Find the info below.

I created the header image by layering two photos and using special effects from Pixlr.com

Image by bess.hamiti@gmail.com from Pixabay

https://www.clevelandart.org/art/1938.6

Ancestral Commemorative Head (uhunmwun-elao)

possibly mid-1500s or early 1600s

Nigeria, Benin Kingdom, Ẹdo peoples, members of the Igun Eronmwon (royal brasscasters) guild

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-15

Write a thoughtful or thoughtless poem. I think today's Tanka is pretty thoughtful.

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/08/day-8/

Write in praise.

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/15/day-15/

Write an aubade. An aubade is a poem about dawn. It has no specific rhyme or rhythm scheme. 

Today's aubade praises the dawn, something I never thought I'd do again in this lifetime.

"Well, who hates the dawn, Ornery, you crusty old owl-crab? What kind of misanthropic curmudgeon doesn't love to see the sun come up on a new day?"

One who knows they probably have yet another day of bullying and abuse to look forward to.

One who will go to a job they hate. 

One who is grieving.

One who is traumatized.

Someone whose first waking thoughts are abusive rhetoric that has been drilled into their psyche. It has only been during this past year that my first thoughts on waking haven't been something along the lines of "you fat, disgusting pig, nobody could possibly love anything that looks like you. Eww, you're so gross! Why don't you just stop eating, Fatty?"

I didn't stop having these thoughts because I lost a semi truckload worth of weight and now I have a "revenge body." What a wretched concept. I'll likely always be fat unless my zombie thyroid suddenly revives and revs up my metabolism to transwarp 666 gazillion parsecs per nanosecond, turning me from a portly and perpetually pissed-off prairie witch to a svelte Borg siren existing for the sole purpose of serving man.

In other words, not gonna happen.

Nope, I finally realized how horrible and shitty diet culture really is and concluded that anyone hell-bent on judging a person based on their physical appearance rather than their personality is someone whose opinion matters no more to me than a gnat's fart in a category 15 hurricane. In other words, less than not at all. 

This realization was even more freeing than the day I decided I was tired of being blonde and stopped bleaching my hair to hide the gray.  I started going gray at 27. I have thick, somewhat coarse hair that tends to be resistant to coloring, so I started bleaching it. My hair became very dry and brittle, having the approximate texture of straw, and it was falling out. I decided I no longer gave any fucks about people thinking I'm (gasp) old, and I dropped the bleach habit.

I used henna to color my hair for a while, not because I cared about hiding the gray but because I found it fun to dye my hair different wild shades of blonde, brown, black, or red. Unfortunately, I developed an allergy to henna, which caused big flakes and scabs to form on my scalp. I now use silver brightening shampoo and a color-depositing conditioner to enhance the silver tones. I'm pleased with how shiny and soft my hair is since I started this routine.

I really don't care if anyone thinks someone else's physical appearance is unattractive or "unhealthy." Let's face it, the "for your health" screed really isn't about health. It's code for "but fat people are ugly and you have such a pretty face and if you'd just lose (insert arbitrary amount of weight here) you'd be fuckable." People are going to think what they're going to think. The more enlightened among us check our prejudices and call ourselves out on our bullshit. 

People's bodies are nobody's business but their own. If you feel the urge to insult someone's appearance, whether simply to be hurtful or because you believe you're being "helpful," I suggest taking ten steps in the other direction and going in search of your beeswax elsewhere. Other people's bodies are none of your beeswax.  

Nobody deserves the dawn thoughts I woke up to for decades. Don't be the person who awakens such thoughts in someone else.

Here is some gorgeous background music from Mirror's Edge Catalyst.

Here is the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@GamingAmbience:6/mirror%27s-edge-catalyst-rezoning-combat-3:b?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

But wait, there's more!

Once again, here's the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@GamingAmbience:6/mirror%27s-edge-catalyst-rezoning-combat-2:6?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

Building this post is taking a while. Here's some more background music from Mirror's Edge Catalyst.

Here's the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@GamingAmbience:6/mirror%27s-edge-catalyst-rezoning-gridnode:8?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

November PAD Challenge 2022: Day 14: A Fix-Up Story

 

The Seamstress by Jacob Lawrence 1946

the seamstress takes the patches

she pieces them together

where once there were only scraps

she now has a lovely quilt

a gift for someone she loves

an item to bring comfort

imagination alive

~ornery owl has spoken~

Image by Mikes-Photography from Pixabay

Ornery Owl is digging this unique and colorful owl sculpture.

She may not know art, but she knows what she likes.

notes and prompts

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-13

Prompt: write an ekphrastic poem. I may keep doing this for several more challenges. Or, you know, the rest of the month.

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-14

Prompt: Write a (Blank) Story poem. 

The metaphor won't be obvious to anyone but me, so I'll just explain it.

For most of my life, I struggled to become the "right" kind of writer. You know, the kind who writes linear novels. 

It was only within the past couple of years that I discovered the term fix-up novel and realized what I'd been writing all along. 

I can write a linear novelette. Anything beyond that starts sprouting a garden of sub-plots. And you know what, that's absolutely fucking fine. I have no desire to be a novelist-bot. 

I'm still hoping to get my revenge on all the people who told me the way I did things was no good. No, I don't mean stalk them and murder them or even plot to destroy their lives with lies. I'm too lazy, too much of a pacifist, and don't need that kind of bad karma. Besides, even the shittiest human being where I'd start chuckling gleefully if I heard they dropped in a sinkhole may have a family member depending on them or such. I'll leave it to the Powers that May Be to sort that shit out.

Nah, the best revenge would be for one of my books or poetry volumes that doesn't adhere to the rules to be successful. I don't know if this will ever happen, but it would be the best revenge. If at that point, my detractor blows a gasket because they simply can't abide someone who refuses to play by the rules doing well, I'm not going to cry or waste my time going to their funeral. Why should I? Such a person certainly has never wasted a kind thought on me.

I honestly don't know why so many people insist everyone must think the same, create the same way, write the same stuff in the same style, and basically be a carbon copy of someone's idea of a writer. I can think of few things more boring than being a clone of someone's concept of what a writer should be, writing formulaic stories with no heart or soul.

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/06/day-6/

Today's colorful masterpiece was created by the African-American artist Jacob Lawrence (September 7, 1917 – June 9, 2000). I did not know about Mr. Lawrence before today, and I think that's a damn shame. People should know about him. I'd enjoy reading a biography. In the meantime, here's the Wikipedia article for the basics. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacob_Lawrence

The poem consists of seven non-rhyming lines. Each of the lines has seven syllables. There may already be an existing poetry form calling for seven-syllable lines, but I don't know. In the meantime, I'm calling this form Sevensies. 

Beautiful background music from the Dragon Age soundtrack.

Here's the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@GamingAmbience:6/dragon-age-origins-haven-ambient-themes:a?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

I guess this is what you'll hear if you go hang out at Mikhail's penthouse. Mikhail has good taste in music.

Here's the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@GamingAmbience:6/cyberpunk-2077-fixer%2C-merc%2C-soldier.-spy:e?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

November PAD Challenge 2022: Day 12 + Day 13: The Thirst

 

See the notes at the end of the post

in the past, you sought intoxication

at present, you pray for inspiration

the future will bring no satiation

for the thirst

you've had from birth

the aching need for acceptance

buried in disguise

behind your crystallized eyes

masquerading as addiction

parading wantonly as craving

for the validation you will never find

in or outside of your nefarious mind

in the guise of no god

in the arms of no man

you were born distorted

in the distant past

you will die broken and alone

in days of the future passed

your thirst never quenched

your desires never satiated

nothing was ever enough

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Image by supra from Pixabay

notes and prompts used

I created the image at the top of the post with pixlr.com by superimposing a free-use photo by Christine Sponchia on Pixabay over a photo of a portion of Salvador Dali's 1931 painting, The Dream. 

https://www.clevelandart.org/art/2001.34#

Image by Christine Sponchia from Pixabay

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-12

Prompt: "For today's prompt, write a future poem. The future could mean years into the future, or it could be less than a minute. Or it could be a poem in the past that looks at the future that is still in our current past."

When I was younger, I always wrote about a sci-fi future. When I was in the 5th grade, my class made a quilt to be shared with future students. On my square, I crudely embroidered a flying saucer. The school buried a time capsule that year, and I really and truly thought that when the time capsule was opened in 2000 we would have flying saucers.

The future looks much more dystopian to me from my current vantage point.

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-13

Prompt: Write an ekphrastic poem. I selected Dali's The Dream.

I've been a fan of Dali's work since childhood.

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/05/day-5/

The Prompt:

"Imagine that you are thirsty. I mean really thirsty. I don’t know how that came about, and it may not matter, but you are."

The lines "buried in disguise behind your crystallized eyes" are a nod to the lyrics from one of my favorite songs, Still...You Turn Me On, which was written by the late Greg Lake (10 November 1947 – 7 December 2016) and initially appeared on Emerson, Lake, and Palmer's 1973 album, Brain Salad Surgery. 

The line "in the days of the future passed" is a nod to another of my favorite prog rock bands, The Moody Blues. It references the title of their 1967 album, Days of the Future Passed.

Here are today's soundtracks. We're in the Dragon Age now.

Here's a link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@GamingAmbience:6/dragon-age-origins-orzammar-ambient:1?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

So ya liked that crap? Truth be told, I don't care if you did or didn't. I did. So here's another one.

Here's the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@GamingAmbience:6/dragon-age-origins-orzammar-the-proving:9?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

November PAD Challenge 2022: Day 11: Gossip

 

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

the chatterbox who pretends

to be your friend 

but then spills all your secrets

scarier than a hairy crow

creating a miserable atmosphere

holding what she knows

like a sword

hanging by a thread

over your head

hiding in your attic

hearing voices in radio static

sifting through the dust in the bag

after you've finished vacuuming

like a strawberry left on the vine

your essence shrivels with time

trapped in the rectangle confines

of the room where you rest restlessly

the secrets you always kept hidden

fell from your lips unbidden

when you thought a sympathetic friend was near

alas, you failed the test

to keep the truth close to your breast

gossips who pretend to be friends

are only too happy to recount your unrest

keep the truth to yourself

your elves high up on the shelf

your skeletons hidden safely away

resist the temptation to unburden

or you'll become a sensation for certain

even if you never wanted it to be that way

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Image by Phillip Smith from Pixabay

Ornery Owl sez: "you can't see me. I'm hidden here in my tree!"

Free use image by Clkr Free Vector Images on Pixabay

Hangry Wyrm sez: "You can always confide in me, Ornery. Especially over a meal. Or a snack. You know I'd much rather be eating than gossiping!"

notes and prompts used

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-11

Today's prompt asks participants to write a scary poem.

While they may not be a physical threat, few things are more threatening to one's mental well-being than a so-called friend with loose lips who coerces you into divulging classified info about yourself and then spreads the ticklish truth everywhere.

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/03/day-3/

Prompt word: Chatterbox

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/11/day-9/

Word List

attic

breaking

crow

hairy

hanging

miserable

rectangle

strawberry

test

vacuuming

This poem is dedicated to the frenemies who crawled out of the woodwork and wormed their way into my brain after I published my first ill-advised book in 2007. The book has been out of print for years and I'm not about to reveal the title or call attention to it in any way. It's best left on the dust heap of history. 

I made a lot of mistakes with this misadventure, and one of the worst mistakes was allowing certain people into my life. I was so desperate for friendship that I invited anyone who said they wanted to be my friend into my life. I almost stopped writing for good and these people solidified a very difficult truth for me.

Here is the haunting ambient soundtrack from Red Dead Redemption 2.

Here is the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@WhiteDragon:2/RED-DEAD-REDEMPTION-2-Ambient-Music---Ambience-%F0%9F%8E%B5-Relaxing-Bath-%28RDR2-Soundtrack---OST%29:a?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

Here's some more Red Dead Redemption soundtrack while I format my November Beginnings and Catastrophic Disaster documents. 

Here's the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@WhiteDragon:2/Relaxing-RED-DEAD-REDEMPTION-2-Ambient-Music-%F0%9F%8E%B5-Lonesome-Cowboy-%28RDR2-Soundtrack---OST%29:2?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

November PAD Challenge 2022: Day 10: On the Parched Prairie

 

Image by Robert Balog from Pixabay

we haven't seen much

of moisture or such

for years here on the parched prairie

we struggle to get by

under the dry sky

the threat of wildfire is scary

the world's supposed caretakers

try to hire rainmakers

after blaming climate change on Tom, Dick, and Harry

corporations don't give a fig

about prairie dog or wild pig

as their ill-advised actions they bury

"blame it on La Niña," they say

as they point the attention away

from the toxins their manufacturing spreads from dairy to eyrie

who cares if we lose the prairie?

it's a place nobody wants to tarry

yet what's happening should make everyone wary

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Image by Alexa from Pixabay

prompts used

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-10

Write a struggle poem. Portions of the Western United States have been struggling with extreme drought for several years. 

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/02/day-2/

The line about rainmakers references the movie Rainmaker.

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/10/day-7/

The instructions:

"Choose some fuzzy topic to define. [Life, community, love, distraction, death, racism, god, whatever suits you at the moment] Define it by indirection."

I think I did this. Maybe. Sort of. The topic is climate change.

I may also share this poem with the Earthweal open link this weekend. Possibly.

https://earthweal.com

I often find video game soundtracks to be great background music for writing.

Here's the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@GamingAmbience:6/destiny-2-mars-dynamo-approach:2?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

November PAD Challenge 2022: Day 9: Life Under the Three of Swords

 

Image by Melissa G from Pixabay

My late father sometimes reminded me of a day when we traveled to the Happy Jack recreation area. My family lived in Laramie at the time. My father was attending the University of Wyoming and was also earning his keep as a teacher’s assistant. My father told me that I stood up on a ridge and shouted to the wind, “I’m happy!”

I may have been happy. I honestly don’t remember the incident or the place. I can recall moments from that year, 1968. I remember some of the dreams I had. I seemed to be nothing but trouble for my mother. I was an overly curious child who was always getting into things.

My lifetime has been spent beneath the shadow of the Three of Swords. To put this in poetic terms, I’ve always been melancholy in varying degrees. If I were to choose poetry to describe my life, the first poem I’d select would be Alone by Edgar Allan Poe. I was reading Poe’s works at six years old and I related to this poem. I also loved The Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti. What would it be like, I wondered, to have a sister who was such a dear friend that she would put herself in danger to rescue me from the goblins who were draining me of my joy?

I did not have a sister. I had friends here and there, now and then, but they always left. I loved creating, but it wouldn’t be until later in life that I reconciled myself to the fact that my stories were my constant companions. I was not destined to have lasting friendships or find happy ever after romantic love.

To put it in clinical terms (alas, how very dull!) I have always lived with varying degrees of depression. I’ve been told I should medicate away the Three of Swords. Attempts at doing so failed spectacularly. The Tower fractured beneath me, plunging me into madness.

I can exist beneath the shadow of the Three of Swords. When the swords increase to nine or ten, atmospheric conditions present danger not only to happiness but to my very corporeal existence.

directionless me

spinning twilight I wander

without any guide

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Image by 0fjd125gk87 from Pixabay

Some of us are destined to fly solo

prompts used

https://poetsandstorytellersunited.blogspot.com/2022/11/friday-writings-51-power-of-three.html

Prompt: The power of three. Any style, 369-word limit.

https://amanpan.blog/2022/11/08/moonwashed-musings-weekly-prompt-directionless-november-8-2022/

Prompt word: Directionless

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-9

For today's prompt, take the phrase "(blank) of the (blank)," replace the blanks with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of your poem, and then, write your poem.

I changed it up a little, as the title of the poem is Life Under the Three of Swords rather than, say Life Of the Three of Swords. I'm not submitting this one to the chapbook of 20 poems that won't be selected anyway. A long Haibun like this one is much to prose-y to be the right kind of rosy for a chapbook bouquet.

It may seem odd for me to request this, but past experiences dictate that I must. For the love of all that is holy and otherwise, do NOT give me advice about "changing my meds." I don't take psych meds, see "the tower fractured beneath me and I plunged into madness. Similarly, don't suggest that I seek out such meds. See "the tower fractured beneath me and I plunged into madness." 

Also, do not suggest that I "seek counseling." I've done so in the past and it hasn't done much for me. Plus I now live in the middle of nowhere and, yeah, I'm not driving a hundred-mile round trip for something that probably won't do me any favors, thanks anyway.

This is a prose poem, not a request for someone to come fix or rescue me. I'm not a damsel in distress, I'm a hideous swamp witch (okay, prairie witch) who writes poetry. If you can't be dark, dramatic, and hyperbolic in your poetry, I probably don't want to read your poetry. See Alone, by Poe, Edgar Allan. That's my kind of poem!

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46477/alone-56d2265f2667d

Maybe I should try to revive my poetry channel on Odysee. Or maybe I've already got too much on my plate. Eh, I'm rambling now.

I actually do know how to have fun. For instance, this collection of olde tyme Halloween-themed songs is my bag.

Here's the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@thymeandplace:9/vintagehalloween1:5?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16

November PAD Challenge 2022: Day 8: A Triquint Introduction

 

Image by 0fjd125gk87 from Pixabay

please allow me to introduce me

where many would reduce me

some would seduce me

hang loosely

me

I've always tried to live life truly

sometimes I seem unruly

alas, poor fool, me

can't school me

see

so many have tried to retool me

I won't play along coolly

you will not rule me

I'll pull me

free

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~

Image by Syaibatul Hamdi from Pixabay

notes and prompts used

The only way to be free is to break away from the expectations placed on you by others. Do not automatically accept anyone else's rules as your own, even if they tell you they know better than you what you should do.

https://www.writersdigest.com/write-better-poetry/2022-november-pad-chapbook-challenge-day-8

Today's prompt asks participants to write a form or anti-form poem. More about this poem's form in a moment.

Today we have a twofer of Quickly prompts as I play catch-up on the days I missed.

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/01/day-1/

Write an introduction. I introduced myself and my attitude.

https://imprompt.wordpress.com/2022/11/08/day-8/

It may be subtle, but this poem praises me and my bad attitude.

https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2022/11/05/lucky-dip-saturday-mix-5-november-2022/

This poem is a Triquint.

Triquint is a poem form created by Sylvia A. Feeley, which consists of 3 verses, 5 lines each. Lines 3 and 4 of verse 1 (Refrain) repeat in verses 2 and 3. The syllable count for each stanza is 9, 7, 5, 3, 1 and has an aaAAb rhyme scheme.

Don't miss out on this Deep House mix to accompany your writing.

Here's the link in case you can't see the player.

https://odysee.com/@edouardvonshaeke:a/cities-28-stuttgart-deep-house-melodic:e?r=GTwnGJ4fFBQfzuJgpHVpfKBKaC9b8B16