More and Less than Human
My eyes have seen you
Perform before ten times a thousand and more
Being onstage got you high
But it also made you panic
To perform was always your choice
It was the way that you expressed yourself
Because sometimes it was hard for you to talk
Especially when you needed help
You were always willing to help others
But when it came to your own needs, you hit a snag
Perhaps you thought you could sweat it out if you worked hard enough
You thought you could burn your troubles out of your body
People like you are more and less than human
In the eyes of your audience
The crowd sees you as both invincible and fatally flawed
You can't win in the arena of public opinion
My eyes have seen you
As more lofty than the archangels
As broken as a shattered China cup
As wonderfully and exquisitely anomalous
I wish my eyes did not have to see you lose yourself
~Cie~
I suppose each of us is two people; sometimes we know ourselves and at other times we don't. It must be very hard to see someone you care for slowly become someone else. It happened with my own mother and it was heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteDementia is the worst. My father had vascular dementia, but although he was confused, he did recognize his family up to the end.
DeleteThis man's mind has been wiped out pretty much completely. He doesn't recognize his children or his brother and can't remember things that happened even a few minutes previously. He certainly can't remember his own life or accomplishments. I can think of few worse horrors.
My aunt has the same kind of dementia.
I just sometimes feel like I'm walking through a nightmare wondering when I'll wake up and knowing I won't.
What powerful write.. 'You thought you could burn your troubles out of your body' - a line which resonates for this reader...some tides cannot be swayed although we must always try and ride them out...great piece
ReplyDeleteYeah, it resonates for me too. Kind of harks back to when I used to exercise for four and five hours a day to the detriment of my relationship with my then young son, all in the name of pursuing a thinness that my body wasn't meant to have. However, in this guy's case, I'm referring to things on an emotional level. Obviously achieving thinness wasn't a problem for him!
DeleteQuite - until I got to the end reference I thought it was a woman..
DeleteInteresting to note, his daughter is tall and quite curvy. Physically, she's on the opposite end of the spectrum from her father. In our narrow-minded world body types that fall on either end of the spectrum tend to get derision, which is really an awful thing. We should all be more accepting of each other. Truth is, even the so called "beautiful" people don't actually look like what we see in magazines. Everything is retouched.
DeleteI agree that this is a powerful write - calls to mind all those who 'burned' out far too young and fast in front of thronging crowds - a wonderful homage to celebrity of all sorts public and private ... beautiful poem
ReplyDeleteThank you. Jim Morrison's work was the inspiration for the "My eyes have seen you" line. He definitely burned out quickly. This poor fellow that the poem is dedicated to would likely have been fine, although he had a past history of alcoholism. However, his mind has been destroyed by disease. It's altogether too sad.
DeleteIt is so interesting how the stage and presenting the "other" helps so many function in ways they are not able to do without performance... thought-provoking piece on the layers of performance and self. And also, so very sad at the loss of one so talented.
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of that way. I can express in writing what I can never express in person.
DeleteI agree, it's a terrible loss. The man was brilliant, and he was kind as well. I guess this is why I can't stop talking about it. It seems so unfair.
awesome write, i feel the pain of seeing a star dimmed
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas
Much love...
Thank you so much. It's very kind of you to say. :0)
DeleteThe second paragraph, about performing because it's hard to talk especially when you need help is something I resonate with. And let's hope Angus gets better !
ReplyDeleteI do too, Suyash. I'm very shy, but I actually like to act because it allows me to be someone besides myself. Public speaking, though? No dice! I get so worked up I can hardly talk.
DeleteThe person who's ill is actually Angus' older brother, Malcolm. Unfortunately, he's dying from the disease he has, and it's completely wiped out his mind. It's incredibly tragic, not only on general principles but because he was extremely intelligent. Most people don't realize how much so, because he was very quiet.
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