To trap a princess
And make her want to stay
Take a bath
So you smell pretty
A rank suitor
Will only drive away the lady fair
You don't want to scare
Your princess away with your smell
To trap a princess
Let yourself be the damsel in distress
So she can help you out of your mess
Then thank her kindly
With a cup of coffee
And some homemade cake
Or one bought from the baker
If you cannot bake
If you wish to trap a princess
You can't be busy all the time
Always running to and from work
And on errand after errand
If there are never enough hours in the day
Your princess will stay away
She doesn't even know that you exist
Because you're never there
If you wish to trap a princess
You must go where the princesses are
Take it from a lady who knows
You won't find her in a bar
(Well, probably)
Perhaps you enjoy art or reading
Or theater, or learning to bake cakes
To trap princesses with
"You have to get out there, Auntie Thalia"
"You have to say hello and don't be shy"
"And if the first one doesn't like you"
"She wasn't the right princess for you"
"Give it another try."
"Because you're the most awesome Auntie"
"I know there's someone special out there"
"Who will love you just as much as I do--only romantic."
My niece is a very smart girl
And maybe if I follow her recipe
I'll have my princess come to me
Before this body of mine
Is too old to ride into the sunset
With the lady of my dreams
~Thalia~
With many thanks to my niece Kia, who is 13 going on 35