The lack of any ability
To understand what I'm feeling
The desire to erase
What you perceive to be a fault in my thinking
The fact that everyone wants to cure people like me
Rather than try to see the world through our eyes
Leads me to realize
That I can never belong
Not even in a world of bleeding hearts and artists
I am not one of you
I am a monster
Nobody wants to understand monsters
Even when we don't rage
The world wants to put us in a cage
You want to anoint me with your oils to make me one of you
You think your powders and potions will morph my eternal soul
You think a pill will make me socially acceptable
You hate what I am
Even when you try to pretty your feelings about me up
With words like "sympathy"
Which equates to pity
With well-meaning epithets like "I just want you to get better"
Which means
"I just want you to fit in."
I'm used to being the only one
The first and last of my kind
I'm used to walking alone
I can't stop feeling what I feel
Just because you think it's time for me to stop feeling it
You can try to kill my personality
With shocks to my brain
Which are supposed to end my pain
But which in reality
Are meant to destroy me
But you can't kill my soul
I will come back
Stronger than you know
Somewhere beyond the rainbow
There is a place for us
Those who felt too much
Who knew too much
Who never fit in anywhere
Even among the bleeding hearts and artists
Tomorrow belongs to the monsters
I am a monster
And one day I will fly over the rainbow
And be welcome at last
~Cie~
you make me think of Frankenstein, and his wish to be a part of an unaccepting world
ReplyDeletehave a nice Tuesday
much love...
Oh, good metaphor! I always thought that Frankenstein's monster was such a tragic figure.
DeleteWe hope you have a nice Tuesday as well! <3
I loved it ... the feeling of flying high, and being loved in a different world .. beautifully penned :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've come to feel this way about it, Honey, but I understand what you mean. Poetry should be THE medium where a person can express their deepest, most painful thoughts. Technical perfection is meaningless without emotion.
ReplyDeleteI tend to be more a short burst writer when it comes to poems. I like Haiku. A lot of people don't. I like the come in fast and hit hard feel. But I love reading poetry like yours that delves into the heart of the matter.
And you know what, if you are dedicating it all to someone who matters to you, then I feel it touches their soul as well. Don't let other people's narrow minds close off your world.
When people express depressive thoughts, the majority of the world runs away. This leaves those who could use a friend most alone, as they expect to be, and increases the depression.
ReplyDeleteThe human race is an epic fail. The Demiurge should feel ashamed for creating us.