Showing posts with label dark humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dark humor. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 30, 2024

April PAD Challenge + NaPoWriMo 2024 Day 30

 

Image by Dmitry Abramov from Pixabay

This will be our last daily prompt for a while, Poetry People. I decided to end on a fun one, writing a silly limerick about a smack-talking Cyclops and a cheating golem made from bread running a race.


This final Twofer Tuesday prompt of the challenge asks poets to write a beginning poem and/or an end poem.

My poem has both a beginning and an end.

It doesn't end well, but if you enjoy twisted dark humor, you'll like it.


This year's final NaPoWriMo post invites participants to write a poem in which the speaker is identified with, or compared to, a character from myth or legend.

Hence, the Cyclops and the bread golem.

I believe this is the first time anyone has written specifically about a bread golem. In fairness, the infamous gingerbread man is also a golem made from foodstuffs. 

I was up until close to three in the morning preparing my submission email for Dragon Soul Press. It's flown to its destination and was swiftly acknowledged. 

This is the link you require if you're interested in submitting to their forthcoming horror drabble anthology (submission deadline 31 May). 


Don't direct further questions to me 'cause I can't answer 'em! I'm just the messenger.

I hope one day soon I come to a place of peace with this damn CPAP machine. I fare better when I keep it on, but I don't like having things on my face. I usually take the mask off while I'm asleep. 

I really do wish society, including the medical community, would stop shaming people for not being perfect specimens of exceptional health. I feel like a failure for having diabetes. I feel like a failure for needing a CPAP machine. I felt like a failure when I had to have an emergency C-section. I feel like a failure anytime one of my old fillings needs replacing. Telling people they're failures if they have health issues doesn't lead to improved outcomes, and this ineffective method of "encouragement" needs to stop. 

~Ornery Owl Has Spoken~



Monday, April 1, 2019

NaPoWriMo 2019: Ocean In a Bottle

Image by janrye from Pixabay

So very sorry to say
How terribly wrong and
Awfully awry my ship in a bottle project has gone
Rising waves and
Killer sharks threaten to
Sink this unfortunate boat

~Cie~

Note:
The prompt asked for an instructional poem. So, being a contrary cuss, I wrote a destructional poem instead.




Sunday, October 21, 2018

OctPoWriMo 2018: Day 21: Hideous Death or Merely Misery


Since I have the libido of roadkill
I really couldn't give a rip
Whether it's love or lust
If there was a spark in the dark
I probably didn't notice
My desire is long dead and buried in a desert 
Or a scrap heap
Or a tomb with no view
And I have no intentions of reviving it
Anytime in the near future
Or ever
I'm better off without it
But I am questioning
And I am deciding
Whether this wretched cough
Complete with nasty mucus
Is just a lousy cold
Or if this awful feeling
Like someone set an anvil on my chest
Is in fact the beginnings
Of something quite a bit worse
Like maybe Captain Trips
So my choices boil down to this:
Am I a miserable hypochondriac
Or am I about to leave behind a really vile corpse
For some unfortunate soul to discover
Laying on the couch
Slime running from the eyes, nose, and mouth
Of my putrefying body
Kitchen Nightmares playing on the computer
I will die thinking 
If Gordon Ramsay survives
He will cut Randall Flagg to bits with his words
Thus ends my alternate universe version of The Stand
And now, if you'll excuse me
I must cough up a lung
By now it should come as no surprise
That I don't have a man in my life
My Give-A-Fuck broke a long time ago
No fellow in his right mind wants a partner
With a twisted sense of humor like mine

~Cie~